I'm scared to be in big bodies of water...I'm no beach bum nor do I get excited for water sports or crossing bridges, but I had a scare with water when I was young so hence the caution. I can't imagine why God put a water story for me in my brain today other than I really must need it. The story goes like this...
I'm on a boat, big enough to have a small deck above and below it. Not sure what I'm doing on a boat as it didn't make much sense at the time but I had a few ship mates as well...we all served the Captain (who was later revealed to me as God) of our ship and we all were given one life-vest in case of an emergency.
I'm not exactly at smooth-sailing in my life right now so you can bet that boat found a horrific storm! Pelting rain, hideously loud thunder and lightning streaks were the only way of seeing in the darkness that swallowed our boat. The storm raged for days and we all suffered, but most of the crew could sleep, while I was fully awake a fearful tossing and turning on my sleep turns. The crew of the small ship tried their very best to control the boat under the Captains orders but the waves were too strong and the order of "Life-jackets on!" made my heart in my chest drop to the ground. Great! I hated storms and being stuck in the middle of the ocean on angry waters and winds was not my idea of adventure. With my life-jacket securely on, I tried my best to help the crew, but I really didn't know what I was doing. Water was everywhere and I knew the boat would surely sink or be tossed under the angry waves. I was thankful for my life jacket. It was my security and only hope of surviving clear out here and in these conditions. But the Captain called me to his quarters where He asked me to take off my life-jacket and give it to him. WHAT? I cautiously questioned his authority....I'll die without my life-jacket?! I mean really we all know the Captain goes down with the ship right? He's been out in storms before why make me who knows nothing of how to do anything with a ship or fears water....why should I have to go without my life jacket?
I handed the Captain my life-jacket, the one thing I had, the only thing I had was now his. I gave all I had to him. Stunned and shocked I began to look for another life-jacket...it was hard being tossed to a fro and look at the same time....I asked the crew for help and none of them would give up their life-jacket for me either....a couple of them said to trust the Captain. But how could they know what it was like to not have a life-jacket when they all had one on!!!!??? It was no use....no spare life jackets were found and while the crew was either swept over or abandoning ship with a chance to live and succeed through this storm I was forced to stay aboard and sink with the ship. The Captain, who was by this time the last one besides me on the boat, found me again. I thought how strange that He isn't wearing my life-jacket just holding it close to his side. As if taunting me he looked directly at me and said, "It's up to you, either you sink or swim." Now alone on the steadily sinking boat, I began to search for things that may be able to yet save me. However, it seemed that whatever I found was already broken, old and rusted out, or too weak and powerless to hold hope in. I couldn't believe the Captain would leave me here all alone to die so I yelled and cried, Why my life jacket? Why couldn't he have left me that life-jacket? Didn't He know that was my only sense of security the only thing I owned that could get me through this storm and He takes it away? Why? He didn't even use or need it? Why did He leave me here all alone.....no one would be coming to my rescue.
As I was tossed overboard, I remembered my Captains words....what was I to do sink and drown or swim and keep swimming? Where though? Where do I swim? Shore could be so many different directions.....which way do I go?......could I reach the shore before tiring out and drowning....what if a fish attacked me?
I decided to swim. I picked the direction the waves were pushing me and then prayed I could keep swimming....How long was I to swim and where would this swim lead me?
Suddenly I knew who had my life-jacket. I knew where my security was....I knew where hope could be found. It wasn't in that life-jacket at all. It wasn't in the securities I let go of. Hope was resting in knowing that God was holding my life-jacket, the very one I gave up for Him when he asked me too. I hadn't realized it but I indeed left my hopes and securities in His hands and I knew whether I sank or continued to swim, God was always going to hang onto what I gave Him which sometimes isn't much at all and sometimes it all looks bad but He'll never let go of what I give Him.
So now I'm swimming because sinking isn't an option right now. Could I still sink? Yes, I could sink....I've done it a couple times already, but when Peter began to sink He called out to Jesus and Jesus caught Peter. So I have to believe that if I sink, my Captain, my God and my Jesus will be there to catch me and pull me out of the world and storm that's making me sink. After all, He's pulled me up from sinking a few times already.
I may be swimming alone right now. You ever struggled with something that no one seems to understand...maybe you're swimming alone right now too....it's ok we need to go it alone sometimes. Have all your options run out? Is what you've trusted in gone? God wants you to swim and renew your trust and hope in Him as sometimes you gotta get tossed into the middle of the storm to see exactly where your hope lies...Is your Hope lying in Jesus's hands?
Who's holding your life-jacket today?
Your hopes not in the life-jacket, but the One who holds your life-jacket!
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