Why does God do that?

This year I made sort of a resolution to be happy in every situation and love deeper.  However, it was never signed in blood and deep down I didn't think I could do it.  After all, life isn't exactly easy.....my life in particular right now just got less happy....But I'm trying to remain happy--it's hard--really hard.  Even the weather is really stupid right now....  It seems like I'm just getting over an obstacle when another is there even bigger and badder <---just deal with that grammar issue---than the one I just struggled through.  Why?  A short, but simple question we tend to fall back on when we are hurting....I don't know the answer.  But here's a short story that God put in my head and made me feel better.

    It was a perfect day at the park....for everyone, but me.  My life was in ruins and I was suffering from one of the worst aches ever---heartache! I didn't want to be friendly to anyone and when my so called "friends" asked me to play games so that they'd have a sure loser I just headed the opposite direction looking for a vacant spot all to myself where my bitter thoughts and me could be in peace.  I found a quiet, secluded spot under an oak tree and under the tree there was a small two person park bench.  I sat there with scowled expressions while all the love and happiness I once had in my heart came bursting out with hate, pain and bitterness.  I thought, God must really Hate me--He never gives me a break--He just gives me one struggle after another and He expects me to love Him for that?  Why, I doubt He's ever cared at all for me!  Even my "friends" seemed to enjoy picking on me today!  I soon felt very alone, helpless and insignificant.
    As the bitter thoughts kept pouring out, I couldn't help but notice an old man, hobbling along the scenic trail I had taken to get away from my friends.  I hope he's not walking over here to come sit--can't he tell I wanna be left alone?  He slowly sat down beside me.  He reminded me of a hobo.  Everything he wore was dirty or ripped. This just isn't my day!  "You mind if I sit here?" asked the old man with a shaky voice.  I just glared at him and if looks could kill, he would have been dead right there.  I figured he'd move on and let me be, but he remained seated and said, "That bad, huh?"  The smell of his clothes made me gasp for air and I was just starting to get up and walk away from this despicable sight when he surprised me by saying, "You know....feeling sorry for yourself won't make that pain in your heart any better...."  I sat back down on the bench and said quite harshly that he had no business in my business and he couldn't possibly understand what I'm going through and no body cares about me and my life is in horrible ruins....I can never get out of these slums........and on top of that GOD HATES ME!!   I practically blew the old man over with that last part!  The old man sat quietly next to me as I awaited his answer.....I bet he doesn't have any answers just look at him--looks like life has been horrible for him too--haha I bet he'll just walk away and leave me alone now!  But the old man remained quiet and I remained puzzled.  We sat there for what seemed like an hour of silence and then he grunted quietly, "God doesn't hate you, (put your name in there)."  I froze.  How'd he know my name?  He must have heard my friends call me...ya..that's what it must be....I felt that anger and hate in my heart begin to break and all of the sudden I found myself pouring out the broken pieces of my heart to this old man.  And finally I asked him if God really loves me than why does He keep giving me so many challenges and heartaches?  Why does my heart feel broken and hurt all over?  Why does my life look like failure after failure?  At this point I had tears streaming down my face and I really could barely see that dirty, handkerchief he offered.  As I took the handkerchief, I noticed that the old man was looking down at the ground....maybe for inspiration?  I dried my eyes and waited. He replied this:  "Maybe God just wants to dig further down into your heart to where it hurts so much that He can finally use all of your brokenness and hurt for His glory......." I looked up to reply, but the old man had disappeared.  



I don't know why some of us seem to always struggle while others seem to have it altogether all the time.  It doesn't seem fair, but we really can't see past our noses anyways when it comes to the big picture.  I guess I just have to go back to counting my blessings when I get this way because I have quite a few to be thankful for and that makes me HAPPY!!!  :)   Feel free to share your thoughts.....

I'm glad I'm dumb!

  I realize my blogs can be controversial and surprising to some readers and maybe this post is one of them. Haha! But then again you don't have to keep reading.... 

  Recently, I've had to think about many things that I've never thought people even questioning!  I found myself in conversations that make me want to be smarter like everyone else.  Honestly, I'm exhausted. You see, I'm what they call old-fashioned, dumb, simple, loyal.  Why do I tell you this?  Because people ask me this, "Why do I believe that there is a God?  A hell and a heaven."  They say, there is no proof of this and they take me on some believable tangent that I could get lost in if I were just as "smart" as them!  But I am not.  I've never ever been smart!  In fact, my parents were worried about me in elementary because I was a super slow learner....but that's another story...why am I telling you all this?  Because you all are smart!  You know the difference between an ipod and an ipad, science and science fiction, pretty and ugly, what's in and what's out, and I lack smartness for even a good example here, but I ask them then.  I say...If you are well-educated in this world and do not believe in God and heaven or hell I think you are stupid.  Why even me--this dumb person-can say to you that that is a foolish decision! WAIT!! Don't quit reading yet! Stupid is such a strong word--let's use misinformed.      The smart thing to do would be to believe in God because if you are right you go to heaven, but if you are wrong you either live once on this earth and then you die and are in the ground forever or you are going to hell to burn to death forever! I'm just saying, maybe you want to re insure yourself this year....be less skeptical and more open...think less....believe more.....what do you have to lose to Believe anyways?     

  If we, believers, are wrong then fine. I'm just putting my money on Jesus and a life after death because it's a wise decision to me.  Better safe than sorry.  And better dumb than smart.