It's been awhile since I posted, but it is hard to condense thoughts lately....however, I'd like to share with you just a tidbit for now....Life has been piling up and I feel so useless in areas and I often wonder..."Why did this happen?" "Does Jesus really love me?" "Does He still have a plan for me even though I've made so many, many wrongs and mistakes?" A thought suddenly came to me....Have I really spent intimate time with God and told Him everything that worries me or is on my mind? I decided that I needed to tell Him all of my thoughts last night....so in the dark after I fed the horses I broke down and shared...EVERYTHING I could think of one of them being...."Do you still love me when I make mistakes or when I don't amount up to what you wanted of me?" See I know there are times that I fail God miserably..... As a horse trainer, my horses sometimes fail me and do something totally wrong which can make me mad, sad, or just lose hope that they'll never get it! Will they amount to anything besides stupid? I'm sure you've felt that way about something/someone too.....
As I began to cry outside, I longed for Jesus to tell me that He still cared about me. I began to preach to myself (I give myself spiritual peptalks...) and before I knew it God had given me the answer. It's okay to not feel okay. It's okay to realize that you need God! And as the tears streamed down my face I realized Jesus was there with me and I think I even felt Him give my heart a hug.
What was the answer?
Jesus often talks to me in a language I understand.....horse.
The answer was this--Jesus reminded me of my deep love for my horses and how they disappoint me, hurt me, and do wrong things....yet do I still love them? Yes. I love them. Jesus made me realize that that is how He loves me too. Yes, Sandy, you disappoint me, hurt me and do wrong things, but just as you haven't given up on your horses, I haven't given up on you! I can still use you because I love you and I will always love you just like you'll always love your horses. Your heart is mine and I know it is full of wanting to do what is right.....Yes you make mistakes, but I am here with you and I will never leave you. I'm not going to be the one to do that.....I love you too much to leave you, Sandy. You will have to do the leaving and tonight you've made me happy because you came to me broken and I can help fix you because your heart is ready to be filled with hope and love tonight.
I'm still full of tears as I write this......friends, Jesus knows our hearts....He understands our problems....He knows we make mistakes....He wants to be there for us anyways because He loves us. Just cry out to Jesus!
Tuesday, April 21, 2015
Thursday, February 26, 2015
Horsenround4Jesus promo video~Our Story~
The above video needs a bit of explaining....mostly what is Horsenround4Jesus? I can honestly say I'm not even sure yet....but starting in 2010 I began to ask God if there was anything I could do for Him? I wanted to do more....be used...but I wasn't sure what I had to offer....I had nothing (it seemed). God began to ask me.....what about your horses, Sandy?....you have 2 beautiful horses and you could share them with others. Ok. First, I do not like sharing my favorite toys--ask my family for proof---I didn't even want my sister to ride my horse when I was younger! ( I am lots better now at sharing.) Second, I wasn't born into a horse family...I worked hard to make enough money for my own horse and bought one finally at around age 12. I began to learn all I could about them, but I'm still no expert! In fact the more I learn, the less I think I know anything about horses. Third, My horses weren't professionally bred, trained, or shown...nor were they glory seekers...in fact crowds still scare them....both horses were from unwanted backgrounds--on top of that one even has health issues. Fourth, I told God I wasn't good enough either....at almost 19 I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis after not understanding why 5 pound feed buckets seemed like 500 pounds and why I was always so tired. I told God He was picking on someone about to become crippled and dead and horses who had mean or wild attitudes! What possible thing could a few scraps like us do for an awesome, mighty God? God didn't tell me I had to be the greatest Horsewomen ever and then He could use me....He tried to convince me He could use me "as is," but I wasn't content with "as is." I was afraid. I was afraid I would fail God and people would laugh and say or think things like...."Wow she's really bad and her horses are too!"
So I told God NO I'm not doing this!!! Besides doing tricks and demos for free wouldn't be paying for feed bills......so I came up with another plan.... instead of the God Plan I went with the Sandy Plan. A much better choice I thought.....so in 2011 I decided to buy a couple untouched horses and train them to resell later since people seemed to like my horses and it would get me $ and maybe even some fame and recognition in the Horse World. After 2 months of hard work I had those crazy horses doing amazing things, but it all ended on a bad note.....the 2 year old I was riding spooked and went crazy and I decided to jump off landing on my back breaking my L1 to L4 (small parts of the lumber vertebra). Unable to ride for almost a month and no training broncs for even longer I decided the best thing to do was not let the horses return to being untouched so I sold them both. Regrets? Yes and no. But with the down time I had lots to think about and it was tougher than I thought it would be to get back into the saddle and ride with confidence. My horses had to help me as I kept seeing the accident in my head. My once over-confident self who could break anything suddenly became terribly non-confident, scared, and feeling defeated and useless. I was at a very low, low point and it's at this point you either give up or dig in. I knew I needed God to help me and I began to ask Him...."So what was that you wanted me to do again?"
Slowly I gained confidence and more horse experience and in 2012 (2 years after telling God no), God gave me my first opportunity to perform for His Ranch in Missouri--a place that offers horse rides and lessons for anyone especially disabled people. I can't say enough about the experience! The founders and staff were amazing and the audience was lovely and patient and my horses didn't act like they knew nothing! For the first time in a long time, I felt like I was doing what God wanted me to do and I felt blessed and useful. It's funny....all I would have had to do is trust Jesus and say Yes. ....I would have given up on me if I was God, but God never did....He kept asking me to do this one thing and I kept telling Him I wasn't good enough...others can do this....not me....pick someone else...they have better horses, they don't live in a painful, weak body etc. God could have picked someone else, but I am so thankful He turned me back to Him and used me...us!!! however untalented and weak we are!
In 2013, we got to perform two different times for some inner city kids (some of which never get to see a horse-let alone a trick horse)!! Once some came out here and then my horses and I traveled to Bridlewood Stables to perform for even more kids. We were a hit and for the first time I began to realize that this thing that God wanted of me wasn't to be overpoweringly successful or great, but quiet and subtle. It's not like I had to absorb myself in becoming famous or talented overnight for God to use me, I just had to be open to what God wanted of me and let Him guide my path however far or slow He wanted us to go.
In 2014, I got a raise you could say.... God is sooo good! Remember I said I do this stuff for free to these less fortunate kids/special organizations....well God opened the door for people who heard about what we do and they asked if I could do B-day parties and trick demos for which I would charge a small fee helping pay for a couple feed bills. It wasn't alot, but it was enough for me to realize that God was trying to tell me that He's got this! He's got plans for us and He can and will use me where and when He sees best! All I have to do is keep following Him and trusting that He will help me even when we fail....He will be there!
I also have wonderful family and friend support, and I could not do it without all of your support and encouragement so a big thanks to all of you! I've been able to perform with my horses for family and friends some coming from Japan and Germany!!! Haha! Of course they came for other better and bigger reasons, but I'll entertain that thought for now! ;)
I don't know what 2015 holds or anything beyond that.... God is not through with us yet and we will keep horsing around for Him until He tells us otherwise! So be inspired!!!! Keep doing what you are called to do no matter how small or crazy it sounds! I've learned and am still learning that God can make something from nothing!!! And those lows are only to readjust your focus and be able to say this is not about me...this is about you Jesus and I want you to help me do whatever it is that you want of me no matter how difficult and impossible it seems!
So this is "Our Story" in the shortest way I can describe it! If I told you the whole story I would need to write a book as it is Amazing at how patient God was with me and how far my horses have come!
If you, or someone you know, is interested in watching us horse around for Jesus then email me at sefkitty@gmail.com and find out what we (my horses and I) are willing to offer! :)
*All videos and most pictures in above promo video were of this past year and we are excited about learning more this year!*
Thursday, January 22, 2015
My Horse Goals This Year! (Trying to get pumped!)
It's winter. No indoor area here so that kinda puts a big damper on horse training, but I've learned to take advantage of what I CAN do instead of what I can't with my horses whether that be a short ride, lounging, or a bit of liberty training. Sometimes I sit and watch youtube videos of people working their horses in indoor arenas and they can get them to do all sorts of amazing things and that can put a damper on my spirits as I sit their thinking..."Man, what my horses could do if we had an indoor!" "If......"sure doesn't take you very far. In fact that little word can be the reason one gives up and ceases to ever try to succeed!
I can't lie. I have many dreams and goals to get done with my horses and it sometimes seems that we just keep getting older each year without getting any better or completing goals....that's just hogwash talk though....looking back we have come far and completed many goals and dreams and even exceeded expectations at times for which I am grateful. Why can't I be more grateful? I guess I'm human. Give me an inch and I want a mile! Or I play the "compare game" which is never very fun either.
This year, I want to be more grateful in the things that we've already accomplished. I want to focus on the small tries because that will lead to the big successes even if it does take the rest of my life! I want to find ways to encourage my horses to do the right things while being themselves! Most of all, I just want to be able to communicate to them in a gentle, loving way developing a deeper trust relationship and just plain have fun!!! I want my horses to feel the excitement and joy I have for their efforts! What's that saying? "If you know your appreciated, you'll do even greater things?"
I have loads of plans.....finish liberty stuff or work on more tricks? Try more reining shows or go on an unforgettable horse vacation? (all of which takes money and tons of planning!) Plan more trick horse demos or do I take on another start? Well whatever is in store God will be with us as we face another year and I say bring it on because I've got some amazing horses and everyday I get to be with them is a big blessing!!!
I can't lie. I have many dreams and goals to get done with my horses and it sometimes seems that we just keep getting older each year without getting any better or completing goals....that's just hogwash talk though....looking back we have come far and completed many goals and dreams and even exceeded expectations at times for which I am grateful. Why can't I be more grateful? I guess I'm human. Give me an inch and I want a mile! Or I play the "compare game" which is never very fun either.
This year, I want to be more grateful in the things that we've already accomplished. I want to focus on the small tries because that will lead to the big successes even if it does take the rest of my life! I want to find ways to encourage my horses to do the right things while being themselves! Most of all, I just want to be able to communicate to them in a gentle, loving way developing a deeper trust relationship and just plain have fun!!! I want my horses to feel the excitement and joy I have for their efforts! What's that saying? "If you know your appreciated, you'll do even greater things?"
I have loads of plans.....finish liberty stuff or work on more tricks? Try more reining shows or go on an unforgettable horse vacation? (all of which takes money and tons of planning!) Plan more trick horse demos or do I take on another start? Well whatever is in store God will be with us as we face another year and I say bring it on because I've got some amazing horses and everyday I get to be with them is a big blessing!!!
Both pics from this year doing our liberty act
Sunday, January 4, 2015
It's Small....It's Difficult....and only a Few Find It......
If you dare to start reading......I'd like you to know that I write what's on my heart at certain times because I feel like God wants me to remember it, share it and be encouraged by what He teaches me because I suffer from short term memory loss...I guess I need lots of reminders and this is a small way I can remember some things God's done for me.
Last year, I enjoyed many horse-back rides on my two horses going through creeks, ponds, ravines, up and down hills, through winding paths, over logs, crossing bridges, galloping through grasslands and many etc. If there's one thing I like to do--it's trail riding! Many trail riding places are set up with wider, easier to ride trails and then have narrow, tougher trails for the more experienced horse and rider. Needless to say, I enjoy the tough ones that no one knows about and the parts where sometimes you just have to make up on your own and trust your horse! Of course, that can be very dangerous and difficult, but oh the enjoyment of success and the beautiful relationship between horse and rider as the bond of trust gets a whole heap bigger as you face the challenges together!
Not very many people like to go on a difficult path.....In fact if you ask most people, they will tell you that they fear difficulties and want to get as far away from them as possible! <--me included. I'd rather not be scraped up with thorns or fall into holes and get hurt....or die!...so many times I too will take the easier, safer path. Unfortunately, God doesn't promise easy paths for His followers......and this would be a sad saying if....well let me tell you a little story that happened to me and my sister while out riding at our local park on a horse-back ride I will never forget:
This past year we were out riding in the fall and exploring all the hidden trails and finding new ones to take from here to there. We came across a trail we had tried in previous years and never found where it went, but saw some horse prints on the narrow/barely visible path. So we took it hoping to find a destination---the path was so overgrown that we had to stop and crack overhanging branches and thistles out of the way and many times when you are pushing through brush you end up bleeding from all the scraping....but we kept going. We made it out of the thick brush to find the path gone!!! We lost it. There were prints going to a creek, but no where to cross it....there were a few more tracks scattered here and there but nothing that looked real hopeful. Disgusted, we decided to try riding up a steep ravine to see if we could see anything that looked like a path. Nothing. Should we give up and turn around? No. We were going to find a reason why this path was here. We came to a beautiful overlook and could look down at the beautiful creek below us and suddenly I felt like the trip was worth it for the view. We never did find a known path instead we chose a difficult path through a ravine to get to a spot on another narrow trail that would take us back to horse camp. Another hard decision. Where does one cross this ravine? Would the horses trust us enough? Would we have to go all the way back to where we started? Dismounted I began searching for a good spot to cross and found what seemed to be a stable enough spot. The way down was really steep...I asked my horse, Kitty, to move forward and she hesitated but I told her she could do it and asked gently again. We went into the ravine---a bit more sinky than I thought but once across my girl went up the steep hill with ease. Then it was Monica and Colty's turn and soon we were safely back on a more steady and comfortable path. Suddenly, I had an amazing thought! Look how far my relationship has come with my horse! We truly have grown in love and trust of each other. I trusted her to get me though safely and she trusted me to pick a safe spot to cross. Sometimes it's very difficult to see where you stand in a relationship until it is tested. From there, it determines whether your relationship grows or diminishes. Thankfully, in our case, it grew! And I never would have known if we hadn't picked a difficult path so full of obstacles and tough decisions to where I had to love enough to make a safe decision for both of us and fully rely/trust/believe my horse could carry me through!
Where am I going with this? Well I could go on and on with this experience of what God was teaching me, but I'll just pull out a few things.
1. Who/What am I fully relying on in life? A survey said that 80% of Americans say they are Christians and believe in God, but only 7% to 8% say that they fully rely on God. Ouch. This is convicting for me. How numb we can get! It's so easy to say yes, I believe in Jesus...but do you really? Do you really rely on Him for everything? In everything?
2. Am I following the wide and easy path that the rest of the world follows or am I following the narrow, sometimes more difficult path that God wants me to follow? Matthew 7:13-14 states that "You can enter God's Kingdom ONLY through the narrow gate. The highway to hell is broad, and its gate is wide for the many who chose that way. But the gateway to life is very narrow and the road is difficult, and only a few find it."
"Only a few find it"---you know only a few of us found that trail. Sure it was no easy path. Downright obnoxious at times....but what joy was found on that path! An experience that allowed me to get a closer relationship with my horse. God gives us these ups and downs in life to see how much we really do rely on Him! Yes. Sometimes we fail....we don't think God can help us in a certain situation so we do what we think is best. Arg! How does that work for you? I usually find myself in a nasty temper or loads of pounding stress and a hurting heart when I try doing things on my own. I miss the point that God is trying to teach me! I miss the opportunity of having a closer relationship with God. Don't let the downs and twists of life get to you---God just wants to develop a closer relationship with you and that is a beautiful sight and a joyous feeling well worth the struggles!!!
3. Keep Going! I know you have difficulties. Everyone does. But keep pressing on in your love and reliance on Jesus because then you will be able to say, "I was one of the few who found it!" Praise God for the difficult road because it will deepen your relationship as He helps you through it! You are never alone when you have Jesus in your heart and that is one of my goals this year is to fully rely on Jesus. Difficult? YES! But Romans 10:21 is a comforting verse to me: All day long God has held out his hands to a disobedient and obstinate people (God's totally describing me!)....wow! He invites Me (You) in with open arms!!! I just want to jump into them and not let go!
Encourage each other! I know I can always use encouragement! I'd love to hear what God has been doing in your lives as well! I love you all and hope to see you all soon in Heaven! Happy 2015! Hallelujah!!! We're all a year closer to eternity!!!
He leads me by still waters....He restores my soul.....Even though I walk through a dark valley I will fear no evil because you, Jesus, are with me. Your goodness and love will be with me for the rest of my days and you will let me dwell in your house forever and ever.
Last year, I enjoyed many horse-back rides on my two horses going through creeks, ponds, ravines, up and down hills, through winding paths, over logs, crossing bridges, galloping through grasslands and many etc. If there's one thing I like to do--it's trail riding! Many trail riding places are set up with wider, easier to ride trails and then have narrow, tougher trails for the more experienced horse and rider. Needless to say, I enjoy the tough ones that no one knows about and the parts where sometimes you just have to make up on your own and trust your horse! Of course, that can be very dangerous and difficult, but oh the enjoyment of success and the beautiful relationship between horse and rider as the bond of trust gets a whole heap bigger as you face the challenges together!
Not very many people like to go on a difficult path.....In fact if you ask most people, they will tell you that they fear difficulties and want to get as far away from them as possible! <--me included. I'd rather not be scraped up with thorns or fall into holes and get hurt....or die!...so many times I too will take the easier, safer path. Unfortunately, God doesn't promise easy paths for His followers......and this would be a sad saying if....well let me tell you a little story that happened to me and my sister while out riding at our local park on a horse-back ride I will never forget:
This past year we were out riding in the fall and exploring all the hidden trails and finding new ones to take from here to there. We came across a trail we had tried in previous years and never found where it went, but saw some horse prints on the narrow/barely visible path. So we took it hoping to find a destination---the path was so overgrown that we had to stop and crack overhanging branches and thistles out of the way and many times when you are pushing through brush you end up bleeding from all the scraping....but we kept going. We made it out of the thick brush to find the path gone!!! We lost it. There were prints going to a creek, but no where to cross it....there were a few more tracks scattered here and there but nothing that looked real hopeful. Disgusted, we decided to try riding up a steep ravine to see if we could see anything that looked like a path. Nothing. Should we give up and turn around? No. We were going to find a reason why this path was here. We came to a beautiful overlook and could look down at the beautiful creek below us and suddenly I felt like the trip was worth it for the view. We never did find a known path instead we chose a difficult path through a ravine to get to a spot on another narrow trail that would take us back to horse camp. Another hard decision. Where does one cross this ravine? Would the horses trust us enough? Would we have to go all the way back to where we started? Dismounted I began searching for a good spot to cross and found what seemed to be a stable enough spot. The way down was really steep...I asked my horse, Kitty, to move forward and she hesitated but I told her she could do it and asked gently again. We went into the ravine---a bit more sinky than I thought but once across my girl went up the steep hill with ease. Then it was Monica and Colty's turn and soon we were safely back on a more steady and comfortable path. Suddenly, I had an amazing thought! Look how far my relationship has come with my horse! We truly have grown in love and trust of each other. I trusted her to get me though safely and she trusted me to pick a safe spot to cross. Sometimes it's very difficult to see where you stand in a relationship until it is tested. From there, it determines whether your relationship grows or diminishes. Thankfully, in our case, it grew! And I never would have known if we hadn't picked a difficult path so full of obstacles and tough decisions to where I had to love enough to make a safe decision for both of us and fully rely/trust/believe my horse could carry me through!
Where am I going with this? Well I could go on and on with this experience of what God was teaching me, but I'll just pull out a few things.
1. Who/What am I fully relying on in life? A survey said that 80% of Americans say they are Christians and believe in God, but only 7% to 8% say that they fully rely on God. Ouch. This is convicting for me. How numb we can get! It's so easy to say yes, I believe in Jesus...but do you really? Do you really rely on Him for everything? In everything?
2. Am I following the wide and easy path that the rest of the world follows or am I following the narrow, sometimes more difficult path that God wants me to follow? Matthew 7:13-14 states that "You can enter God's Kingdom ONLY through the narrow gate. The highway to hell is broad, and its gate is wide for the many who chose that way. But the gateway to life is very narrow and the road is difficult, and only a few find it."
"Only a few find it"---you know only a few of us found that trail. Sure it was no easy path. Downright obnoxious at times....but what joy was found on that path! An experience that allowed me to get a closer relationship with my horse. God gives us these ups and downs in life to see how much we really do rely on Him! Yes. Sometimes we fail....we don't think God can help us in a certain situation so we do what we think is best. Arg! How does that work for you? I usually find myself in a nasty temper or loads of pounding stress and a hurting heart when I try doing things on my own. I miss the point that God is trying to teach me! I miss the opportunity of having a closer relationship with God. Don't let the downs and twists of life get to you---God just wants to develop a closer relationship with you and that is a beautiful sight and a joyous feeling well worth the struggles!!!
3. Keep Going! I know you have difficulties. Everyone does. But keep pressing on in your love and reliance on Jesus because then you will be able to say, "I was one of the few who found it!" Praise God for the difficult road because it will deepen your relationship as He helps you through it! You are never alone when you have Jesus in your heart and that is one of my goals this year is to fully rely on Jesus. Difficult? YES! But Romans 10:21 is a comforting verse to me: All day long God has held out his hands to a disobedient and obstinate people (God's totally describing me!)....wow! He invites Me (You) in with open arms!!! I just want to jump into them and not let go!
Encourage each other! I know I can always use encouragement! I'd love to hear what God has been doing in your lives as well! I love you all and hope to see you all soon in Heaven! Happy 2015! Hallelujah!!! We're all a year closer to eternity!!!
He leads me by still waters....He restores my soul.....Even though I walk through a dark valley I will fear no evil because you, Jesus, are with me. Your goodness and love will be with me for the rest of my days and you will let me dwell in your house forever and ever.
Wednesday, December 10, 2014
So Far Away!
Words. That's how we describe things, but I'm finding words hard today. It's like I'm living in another world and I'm shouting but no one is listening. So I write....to myself, unless dear reader, you are entertained....Maybe we overuse words-maybe we just don't know their true meanings?
Love...a 4 letter word that is so misinterpreted it shouldn't even exist. I'm just beginning to partially understand the word...and its not associated with what I planned. Love is associated with happiness AND hurt. It is selfless. It is REAL! I wish I could be more specific for you, but I can't. At 24, I've had enough experience to tell you that Love is the hardest thing you can ever accomplish in your entire life because it is the basis to every other detail in your future. Whether you choose to love or not in certain situations--it not only affects you it affect others.
I'm actually very sick of this world and I don't want to be here anymore. Its not that I don't enjoy things in this world-it's just I know what awaits! I can't wait to be in Jesus' arms in Heaven where I truly am loved. I just want to be there right now! It's nice to have glimpses of Heaven now and then on earth...God gave me that privilege recently.....Some of you know that I have family in Japan and getting to see them is a huge treat, but what amazes me is how close we are to each other even though we live worlds apart and aren't able to see each other very often. Focusing on this love thing this year has put my mind in a "love perspective" mode. Sometimes I don't want to love, sometimes I don't get a thing out of it, but I do it anyway--kinda a forced love and what is cool is God blesses me for that attempt and pretty soon I'm not forcing it! It's there! I have an insurmountable love for my family and extended family! It's really real! And every time I get together with my cousins and family--I feel like this is what LOVE really is like! This is what Heaven must be like! Love just pours out in my family and I think I can honestly say I have some of the best hugging cousins in the world! ;) I think because of ya'll..I'm becoming a hugger too! :) It so hurts to have to say good-bye to them and I know in Heaven I will never have too say good-bye again! I am so blessed to have a loving family and am thankful that God has taught me so much about love this year. I wasn't always like this, but love should never be hidden or thrown away! Maybe this is why God gave us a heart--to store love in so we can stay close to each other even when miles and miles of distance exists between us. I LOVE YOU FAMILY!!! All of you are so amazing and I'm so glad you are in my life! Guess I'm dedicating this post to Rachel and Hannah Klaus since they were able to come to America this year and it was so good having them here! My heart is happy and I know one day I'll be able to see them forever!!!
Love...a 4 letter word that is so misinterpreted it shouldn't even exist. I'm just beginning to partially understand the word...and its not associated with what I planned. Love is associated with happiness AND hurt. It is selfless. It is REAL! I wish I could be more specific for you, but I can't. At 24, I've had enough experience to tell you that Love is the hardest thing you can ever accomplish in your entire life because it is the basis to every other detail in your future. Whether you choose to love or not in certain situations--it not only affects you it affect others.
I'm actually very sick of this world and I don't want to be here anymore. Its not that I don't enjoy things in this world-it's just I know what awaits! I can't wait to be in Jesus' arms in Heaven where I truly am loved. I just want to be there right now! It's nice to have glimpses of Heaven now and then on earth...God gave me that privilege recently.....Some of you know that I have family in Japan and getting to see them is a huge treat, but what amazes me is how close we are to each other even though we live worlds apart and aren't able to see each other very often. Focusing on this love thing this year has put my mind in a "love perspective" mode. Sometimes I don't want to love, sometimes I don't get a thing out of it, but I do it anyway--kinda a forced love and what is cool is God blesses me for that attempt and pretty soon I'm not forcing it! It's there! I have an insurmountable love for my family and extended family! It's really real! And every time I get together with my cousins and family--I feel like this is what LOVE really is like! This is what Heaven must be like! Love just pours out in my family and I think I can honestly say I have some of the best hugging cousins in the world! ;) I think because of ya'll..I'm becoming a hugger too! :) It so hurts to have to say good-bye to them and I know in Heaven I will never have too say good-bye again! I am so blessed to have a loving family and am thankful that God has taught me so much about love this year. I wasn't always like this, but love should never be hidden or thrown away! Maybe this is why God gave us a heart--to store love in so we can stay close to each other even when miles and miles of distance exists between us. I LOVE YOU FAMILY!!! All of you are so amazing and I'm so glad you are in my life! Guess I'm dedicating this post to Rachel and Hannah Klaus since they were able to come to America this year and it was so good having them here! My heart is happy and I know one day I'll be able to see them forever!!!
Tuesday, December 2, 2014
If I didn't have horses.......?????
...It's maybe a really good thing we don't have to go there! Thankfully, I do have horses and God teaches me through them. Monday really felt like a Monday. I felt alot of life pressures and was just disgusted with where I was at and what I was thinking and was I really doing the right thing?Sometimes I think we just feel trapped in this world. We don't understand where our life is going or we just want to get there too fast--or give up! All after thanksgiving when I should feel thankful for longer than just a couple days.....right?
On top of all this it's winter....that time of year where I can't get much accomplished as a horse trainer if I even qualify as one....a great horse trainer listens to the horse...yesterday I rode Kitty and she did pretty well so I decided to do some liberty work with her, but I wasn't listening to her needs....I felt frustrated because I have so many horse goals that I never seem to be able to reach for lack of space, equipment, knowledge, and time! Most of the time I'm just happy to be able to get out there and exercise my girls or re-break them to ride after they turn into winter rodeo broncs. But yesterday I wanted more and so I pushed Kitty too hard-no I never lost it or got mad--I was forcing myself and her to a point where we just need more time to understand it. I was just about to "get really impatient" when Kitty decided to ask me why I was being so hard to understand...her soft brown eyes seemed to be quietly waiting for me to relax and see that she was trying her best to please me. I didn't really notice or care at that point...I just kept asking for more and Kitty just did what any good horse would do--she guessed and became "anticipaty"---and as I moved into a better position all the while getting more impatient...Kitty must have thought I was asking for a hug because all of the sudden I had a firm horse neck around me and the really neat thing was she didn't stop hugging me!!! She melted my disgusted heart and filled it back up with love and patience. Needless to say, I was much more patient with her the rest of the time and the training session progressed--all because her act of love reminded me to "get my act of love back together!" Very thankful that God uses my horses to keep reminding me that He loves me! Sometimes we just have to stop and see what's right in front of us! I'm glad God opened my eyes to see how much "love" was missing in my heart.......Here's a really cool pic that captures how much love we have for each other! <3
On top of all this it's winter....that time of year where I can't get much accomplished as a horse trainer if I even qualify as one....a great horse trainer listens to the horse...yesterday I rode Kitty and she did pretty well so I decided to do some liberty work with her, but I wasn't listening to her needs....I felt frustrated because I have so many horse goals that I never seem to be able to reach for lack of space, equipment, knowledge, and time! Most of the time I'm just happy to be able to get out there and exercise my girls or re-break them to ride after they turn into winter rodeo broncs. But yesterday I wanted more and so I pushed Kitty too hard-no I never lost it or got mad--I was forcing myself and her to a point where we just need more time to understand it. I was just about to "get really impatient" when Kitty decided to ask me why I was being so hard to understand...her soft brown eyes seemed to be quietly waiting for me to relax and see that she was trying her best to please me. I didn't really notice or care at that point...I just kept asking for more and Kitty just did what any good horse would do--she guessed and became "anticipaty"---and as I moved into a better position all the while getting more impatient...Kitty must have thought I was asking for a hug because all of the sudden I had a firm horse neck around me and the really neat thing was she didn't stop hugging me!!! She melted my disgusted heart and filled it back up with love and patience. Needless to say, I was much more patient with her the rest of the time and the training session progressed--all because her act of love reminded me to "get my act of love back together!" Very thankful that God uses my horses to keep reminding me that He loves me! Sometimes we just have to stop and see what's right in front of us! I'm glad God opened my eyes to see how much "love" was missing in my heart.......Here's a really cool pic that captures how much love we have for each other! <3
The reason I can write such a nice post tonight is because Missy put me in a really great mood with her liberty work. She is much further along than Kitty so we can actually work with no ropes attached at the walk and trot but lots of work and plans ahead! Anyway, she really impressed me tonight so maybe I can train horses after all! In this picture, Missy was told to stay (she was perfect btw) while Kitty worked and demonstrated a bit....I just love these girls!
Thursday, November 6, 2014
Show Love. Just a bit of time can change a life!!!!!
Last year, I made a "new years resolution" to love more. It's been going pretty good too! But...I've been looking forward to the end of my commitment because love is hard for us humans to comprehend how far and how deep we must go sometimes to show it.
In fact, that's why I wanted to quit this resolution....it's too hard! I was in countdown when Jesus started working on my heart about that...He said...Why do you want to quit? and I said well look here I've been doing pretty good and went through my list of love and how far I've gone and how I just can't wait to be done! It's just too hard loving some people who just don't want your love, or loving those that disappoint you, hurt you or disagree with or you fill it it! Then Jesus said to me..."I still love you. You hurt me. You don't always agree with me. You disappoint me. You refuse my love at times....but I LOVE YOU anyway and I suffered for you and died for you to prove that I REALLY do love you! Ya sure..I know all that stuff, but I'm Not you!!! I can't love like that it's too hard...No body loves like you anymore........ "That's why I want you to continue to love more, but don't just love how you think it should be... I want you to love like me and I need you to start right now!" It took me awhile to say ok, but I have and it is amazing how Jesus keeps reassuring me that He will help me love even when I'm suffering with my humanisticness and don't want to! Anyways, He really challenged me to Love like Him and I'm excited to do that!
It is hard to love when things seem to be falling apart around you and your heart wonders why. Many times, we as humans want to fix things right away when all God is requiring of us it to wait and love. Not yell at the person for being stubborn and crazy and refusing to love or not doing what we think is Christian stuff...just be there to love them.
I, personally, believe that God calls us to love a certain amount of people the way He loves us. He makes it our duty to love them like He would so that they can see the way Jesus loves them through us. I have a list of people that God has given to me to love. If I refuse to love them like Jesus, I'm not really doing my job and possibly that will cost them their pathway to Jesus and it will cost me my job. Jesus will find someone else to do His work. But I want Him to use me and give me more people to love so with His help I'm gonna make it!
Sometimes He'll test our love commitment for them by seeing if we can still love them when they hurt us, refuse us, disagree, and even hate us. I must say I've failed in that area..in the past if it gets hard...I like to get out...but that's not what God wants of me anymore. He encouraged me that the past is in the past and I have the opportunity to love the people that are already around me! :) He says: "Get in there and love like me! Keep loving them as I have kept loving you. This is your calling. This is why I made you!"
I hope this inspires you to love like Jesus even when it hurts! Whatever your situation you don't have to feel useless or be able to fix it..."Just" Love like Jesus!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)