Wednesday, December 10, 2014

So Far Away!

Words.  That's how we describe things, but I'm finding words hard today.  It's like I'm living in another world and I'm shouting but no one is listening.  So I write....to myself, unless dear reader, you are entertained....Maybe we overuse words-maybe we just don't know their true meanings?

Love...a 4 letter word that is so misinterpreted it shouldn't even exist.  I'm just beginning to partially understand the word...and its not associated with what I planned.  Love is associated with happiness AND hurt.  It is selfless.  It is REAL!  I wish I could be more specific for you, but I can't. At 24, I've had enough experience to tell you that Love is the hardest thing you can ever accomplish in your entire life because it is the basis to every other detail in your future.  Whether you choose to love or not in certain situations--it not only affects you it affect others.

I'm actually very sick of this world and I don't want to be here anymore.  Its not that I don't enjoy things in this world-it's just I know what awaits! I can't wait to be in Jesus' arms in Heaven where I truly am loved.  I just want to be there right now!  It's nice to have glimpses of Heaven now and then on earth...God gave me that privilege recently.....Some of you know that I have family in Japan and getting to see them is a huge treat, but what amazes me is how close we are to each other even though we live worlds apart and aren't able to see each other very often.  Focusing on this love thing this year has put my mind in a "love perspective" mode.  Sometimes I don't want to love, sometimes I don't get a thing out of it, but I do it anyway--kinda a forced love and what is cool is God blesses me for that attempt and pretty soon I'm not forcing it!  It's there!  I have an insurmountable love for my family and extended family!  It's really real!  And every time I get together with my cousins and family--I feel like this is what LOVE really is like!  This is what Heaven must be like!  Love just pours out in my family and I think I can honestly say I have some of the best hugging cousins in the world! ;)  I think because of ya'll..I'm becoming a hugger too!  :) It so hurts to have to say good-bye to them and I know in Heaven I will never have too say good-bye again!  I am so blessed to have a loving family and am thankful that God has taught me so much about love this year.  I wasn't always like this, but love should never be hidden or thrown away!  Maybe this is why God gave us a heart--to store love in so we can stay close to each other even when miles and miles of distance exists between us.  I LOVE YOU FAMILY!!!  All of you are so amazing and I'm so glad you are in my life!  Guess I'm dedicating this post to Rachel and Hannah Klaus since they were able to come to America this year and it was so good having them here!  My heart is happy and I know one day I'll be able to see them forever!!!




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