Missy, My Mighty Mare!

     It's that time of year again where pollen and allergens flow....My poor Missy suffers from heaves (horse allergies/asthma).  We have found supplements to help her out alot, but this lingering cough is always the toughest to get rid of which can make working her difficult.  Oh but she loves working!!!  I've been taking it easy on her and she was very mad at me for doing that because I got her out to trim her hooves and she looked at me as if to say, "That's it?"  I give into my horses cute faces pretty easily so I up and got her saddled.  I told her I would be easy on her and work her in the yard....HA! Missy said no we are going on a ride and made her way undirected to the road!  So we went for a ride much to her delight or rather persuasion!  She was so happy!  Then yesterday, I took her to Jubilee to trail ride and she did awesome even her coughing was limited!  And boy did she want to RUN!!!!  It's always so much fun to ride a horse so full of life and have such JOY even inspite of her condition!!  She really inspires me to keep on going and living even though I have health problems too.  She teaches me that it shouldn't be an excuse to hold Joy back!  My dear Mighty Missy, I have you to thank for this lesson and I truly enjoy your JOY!!!  

Silly Sandy, Smart Horse

And now it's time for silly stories with Sandy!  The part of the blog where Sandy sits down and writes you a silly story.....;)  However, this story is true.  Just one of many...

I'm always surprised at my lack of coordination brought on by my lack of not thinking things all the way through or was it both?  You decide.  It all starts innocently enough.  The setup:  I was at a full house, rather full-horse show--meaning that there was a good number of riders, horses and spectators. I am most confident and comfortable in western gear, but I also find English riding fun too mostly because I have extremely talented horses.  We had this extremely hard pattern to do in the class...like professional type not small, fun show type....so I'm using that as my excuse for my lack of concentration.  Kitty and I were all warmed up and ready to go give it our best shot despite it's difficulty....Well at least Kitty was.  They were calling our class to head to the gate and my sister was heading that way....I grabbed my crop and lifted my reins to keep Kitty from eating that long yummy spring grass (notice both hands were busy).....I guess I was thinking I had a horn to lean and grab but instead grabbed air (because English saddles have no horn) and landed face first onto Kitty's neck.....it was a classic face plant and I was so embarrassed because I was just sure my neighbor's heard me grunt as my face hit Kitty's neck and they were probably thinking that was my first time mounting a horse......after all it looked pretty BAD!

Kitty took it quite well as she is use to my clumsiness, but I hadn't realized how much I had embarrassed her.  She wanted me to look good, bless her heart, so she decided to do the class amazingly, even doing a perfect 180 front end turn which we very rarely if ever practice!  She ended up making me look like a great rider and we came out with a second place!!

They say a good rider will take care of their horse and a good horse will take care of their rider....I really think this is such a true saying for Kitty and me.

Below are some pictures of my Kitty girl jumping bridle-less over some of my "fancy" jumps in the yard.  She LOVES jumping!!!  Alot!

Does God love us even though we make mistakes?

It's been awhile since I posted, but it is hard to condense thoughts lately....however, I'd like to share with you just a tidbit for now....Life has been piling up and I feel so useless in areas and I often wonder..."Why did this happen?"  "Does Jesus really love me?"  "Does He still have a plan for me even though I've made so many, many wrongs and mistakes?"  A thought suddenly came to me....Have I really spent intimate time with God and told Him everything that worries me or is on my mind?  I decided that I needed to tell Him all of my thoughts last night....so in the dark after I fed the horses I broke down and shared...EVERYTHING I could think of one of them being...."Do you still love me when I make mistakes or when I don't amount up to what you wanted of me?" See I know there are times that I fail God miserably.....  As a horse trainer, my horses sometimes fail me and do something totally wrong which can make me mad, sad, or just lose hope that they'll never get it!  Will they amount to anything besides stupid?  I'm sure you've felt that way about something/someone too.....

As I began to cry outside, I longed for Jesus to tell me that He still cared about me.  I began to preach to myself (I give myself spiritual peptalks...) and before I knew it God had given me the answer.  It's okay to not feel okay.  It's okay to realize that you need God!  And as the tears streamed down my face I realized Jesus was there with me and I think I even felt Him give my heart a hug.

What was the answer?

Jesus often talks to me in a language I understand.....horse.

The answer was this--Jesus reminded me of my deep love for my horses and how they disappoint me, hurt me, and do wrong things....yet do I still love them?  Yes. I love them.  Jesus made me realize that that is how He loves me too.  Yes, Sandy, you disappoint me, hurt me and do wrong things, but just as you haven't given up on your horses, I haven't given up on you!  I can still use you because I love you and I will always love you just like you'll always love your horses.  Your heart is mine and I know it is full of wanting to do what is right.....Yes you make mistakes, but I am here with you and I will never leave you.  I'm not going to be the one to do that.....I love you too much to leave you, Sandy.  You will have to do the leaving and tonight you've made me happy because you came to me broken and I can help fix you because your heart is ready to be filled with hope and love tonight.

I'm still full of tears as I write this......friends, Jesus knows our hearts....He understands our problems....He knows we make mistakes....He wants to be there for us anyways because He loves us. Just cry out to Jesus!

Horsenround4Jesus promo video~Our Story~

The above video needs a bit of explaining....mostly what is Horsenround4Jesus? I can honestly say I'm not even sure yet....but starting in 2010 I began to ask God if there was anything I could do for Him?  I wanted to do more....be used...but I wasn't sure what I had to offer....I had nothing (it seemed).  God began to ask me.....what about your horses, Sandy?....you have 2 beautiful horses and you could share them with others.  Ok.  First, I do not like sharing my favorite toys--ask my family for proof---I didn't even want my sister to ride my horse when I was younger!  ( I am lots better now at sharing.)  Second, I wasn't born into a horse family...I worked hard to make enough money for my own horse and bought one finally at around age 12.  I began to learn all I could about them, but I'm still no expert!  In fact the more I learn, the less I think I know anything about horses. Third, My horses weren't professionally bred, trained, or shown...nor were they glory seekers...in fact crowds still scare them....both horses were from unwanted backgrounds--on top of that one even has health issues.  Fourth, I told God I wasn't good enough either....at almost 19 I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis after not understanding why 5 pound feed buckets seemed like 500 pounds and why I was always so tired.  I told God He was picking on someone about to become crippled and dead and horses who had mean or wild attitudes! What possible thing could a few scraps like us do for an awesome, mighty God?  God didn't tell me I had to be the greatest Horsewomen ever and then He could use me....He tried to convince me He could use me "as is," but I wasn't content with "as is."  I was afraid.  I was afraid I would fail God and people would laugh and say or think things like...."Wow she's really bad and her horses are too!"

So I told God NO I'm not doing this!!!  Besides doing tricks and demos for free wouldn't be paying for feed bills......so I came up with another plan.... instead of the God Plan I went with the Sandy Plan.  A much better choice I thought.....so in 2011 I decided to buy a couple untouched horses and train them to resell later since people seemed to like my horses and it would get me $ and maybe even some fame and recognition in the Horse World.  After 2 months of hard work I had those crazy horses doing amazing things, but it all ended on a bad note.....the 2 year old I was riding spooked and went crazy and I decided to jump off landing on my back breaking my L1 to L4 (small parts of the lumber vertebra).  Unable to ride for almost a month and no training broncs for even longer I decided the best thing to do was not let the horses return to being untouched so I sold them both.  Regrets?  Yes and no.  But with the down time I had lots to think about and it was tougher than I thought it would be to get back into the saddle and ride with confidence.  My horses had to help me as I kept seeing the accident in my head.  My once over-confident self who could break anything suddenly became terribly non-confident, scared, and feeling defeated and useless.  I was at a very low, low point and it's at this point you either give up or dig in.  I knew I needed God to help me and I began to ask Him...."So what was that you wanted me to do again?"

Slowly I gained confidence and more horse experience and in 2012 (2 years after telling God no), God gave me my first opportunity to perform for His Ranch in Missouri--a place that offers horse rides and lessons for anyone especially disabled people.  I can't say enough about the experience!  The founders and staff were amazing and the audience was lovely and patient and my horses didn't act like they knew nothing!  For the first time in a long time, I felt like I was doing what God wanted me to do and I felt blessed and useful.  It's funny....all I would have had to do is trust Jesus and say Yes.  ....I would have given up on me if I was God, but God never did....He kept asking me to do this one thing and I kept telling Him I wasn't good enough...others can do this....not me....pick someone else...they have better horses, they don't live in a painful, weak body etc.  God could have picked someone else, but I am so thankful He turned me back to Him and used me...us!!! however untalented and weak we are!

In 2013, we got to perform two different times for some inner city kids (some of which never get to see a horse-let alone a trick horse)!!  Once some came out here and then my horses and I traveled to Bridlewood Stables to perform for even more kids.  We were a hit and for the first time I began to realize that this thing that God wanted of me wasn't to be overpoweringly successful or great, but quiet and subtle.  It's not like I had to absorb myself in becoming famous or talented overnight for God to use me, I just had to be open to what God wanted of me and let Him guide my path however far or slow He wanted us to go.

In 2014, I got a raise you could say.... God is sooo good!  Remember I said I do this stuff for free to these less fortunate kids/special organizations....well God opened the door for people who heard about what we do and they asked if I could do B-day parties and trick demos for which I would charge a small fee helping pay for a couple feed bills.  It wasn't alot, but it was enough for me to realize that God was trying to tell me that He's got this!  He's got plans for us and He can and will use me where and when He sees best!  All I have to do is keep following Him and trusting that He will help me even when we fail....He will be there!

I also have wonderful family and friend support, and I could not do it without all of your support and encouragement so a big thanks to all of you!  I've been able to perform with my horses for family and friends some coming from Japan and Germany!!!  Haha! Of course they came for other better and bigger reasons, but I'll entertain that thought for now!  ;)

I don't know what 2015 holds or anything beyond that.... God is not through with us yet and we will keep horsing around for Him until He tells us otherwise! So be inspired!!!! Keep doing what you are called to do no matter how small or crazy it sounds!  I've learned and am still learning that God can make something from nothing!!!  And those lows are only to readjust your focus and be able to say this is not about me...this is about you Jesus and I want you to help me do whatever it is that you want of me no matter how difficult and impossible it seems!

So this is "Our Story" in the shortest way I can describe it!  If I told you the whole story I would need to write a book as it is Amazing at how patient God was with me and how far my horses have come!
If you, or someone you know, is interested in watching us horse around for Jesus then email me at sefkitty@gmail.com and find out what we (my horses and I) are willing to offer!   :)

*All videos and most pictures in above promo video were of this past year and we are excited about learning more this year!*

My Horse Goals This Year! (Trying to get pumped!)

It's winter. No indoor area here so that kinda puts a big damper on horse training, but I've learned to take advantage of what I CAN do instead of what I can't with my horses whether that be a short ride, lounging, or a bit of liberty training.  Sometimes I sit and watch youtube videos of people working their horses in indoor arenas and they can get them to do all sorts of amazing things and that can put a damper on my spirits as I sit their thinking..."Man, what my horses could do if we had an indoor!" "If......"sure doesn't take you very far.  In fact that little word can be the reason one gives up and ceases to ever try to succeed!

I can't lie.  I have many dreams and goals to get done with my horses and it sometimes seems that we just keep getting older each year without getting any better or completing goals....that's just hogwash talk though....looking back we have come far and completed many goals and dreams and even exceeded expectations at times  for which I am grateful.  Why can't I be more grateful?  I guess I'm human.  Give me an inch and I want a mile!  Or I play the "compare game" which is never very fun either.

This year, I want to be more grateful in the things that we've already accomplished.  I want to focus on the small tries because that will lead to the big successes even if it does take the rest of my life!  I want to find ways to encourage my horses to do the right things while being themselves!  Most of all, I just want to be able to communicate to them in a gentle, loving way developing a deeper trust relationship and just plain have fun!!!  I want my horses to feel the excitement and joy I have for their efforts! What's that saying?  "If you know your appreciated, you'll do even greater things?"

I have loads of plans.....finish liberty stuff or work on more tricks?  Try more reining shows or go on an unforgettable horse vacation? (all of which takes money and tons of planning!)  Plan more trick horse demos or do I take on another start? Well whatever is in store God will be with us as we face another year and I say bring it on because I've got some amazing horses and everyday I get to be with them is a big blessing!!!

Both pics from this year doing our liberty act

It's Small....It's Difficult....and only a Few Find It......

If you dare to start reading......I'd like you to know that I write what's on my heart at certain times because I feel like God wants me to remember it, share it and be encouraged by what He teaches me because I suffer from short term memory loss...I guess I need lots of reminders and this is a small way I can remember some things God's done for me.

Last year, I enjoyed many horse-back rides on my two horses going through creeks, ponds, ravines, up and down hills, through winding paths, over logs, crossing bridges, galloping through grasslands and many etc.  If there's one thing I like to do--it's trail riding!  Many trail riding places are set up with wider, easier to ride trails and then have narrow, tougher trails for the more experienced horse and rider.  Needless to say, I enjoy the tough ones that no one knows about and the parts where sometimes you just have to make up on your own and trust your horse!  Of course, that can be very dangerous and difficult, but oh the enjoyment of success and the beautiful relationship between horse and rider as the bond of trust gets a whole heap bigger as you face the challenges together!

Not very many people like to go on a difficult path.....In fact if you ask most people, they will tell you that they fear difficulties and want to get as far away from them as possible!  <--me included.  I'd rather not be scraped up with thorns or fall into holes and get hurt....or die!...so many times I too will take the easier, safer path. Unfortunately, God doesn't promise easy paths for His followers......and this would be a sad saying if....well let me tell you a little story that happened to me and my sister while out riding at our local park on a horse-back ride I will never forget:

This past year we were out riding in the fall and exploring all the hidden trails and finding new ones to take from here to there.  We came across a trail we had tried in previous years and never found where it went, but saw some horse prints on the narrow/barely visible path.  So we took it hoping to find a destination---the path was so overgrown that we had to stop and crack overhanging branches and thistles out of the way and many times when you are pushing through brush you end up bleeding from all the scraping....but we kept going.  We made it out of the thick brush to find the path gone!!! We lost it.  There were prints going to a creek, but no where to cross it....there were a few more tracks scattered here and there but nothing that looked real hopeful.  Disgusted, we decided to try riding up a steep ravine to see if we could see anything that looked like a path.  Nothing. Should we give up and turn around? No.  We were going to find a reason why this path was here.  We came to a beautiful overlook and could look down at the beautiful creek below us and suddenly I felt like the trip was worth it for the view.  We never did find a known path instead we chose a difficult path through a ravine to get to a spot on another narrow trail that would take us back to horse camp.  Another hard decision.  Where does one cross this ravine?  Would the horses trust us enough?  Would we have to go all the way back to where we started?  Dismounted I began searching for a good spot to cross and found what seemed to be a stable enough spot.  The way down was really steep...I asked my horse, Kitty, to move forward and she hesitated but I told her she could do it and asked gently again.  We went into the ravine---a bit more sinky than I thought but once across my girl went up the steep hill with ease.  Then it was Monica and Colty's turn and soon we were safely back on a more steady and comfortable path.  Suddenly, I had an amazing thought!  Look how far my relationship has come with my horse!  We truly have grown in love and trust of each other.  I trusted her to get me though safely and she trusted me to pick a safe spot to cross.  Sometimes it's very difficult to see where you stand in a relationship until it is tested.  From there, it determines whether your relationship grows or diminishes.  Thankfully, in our case, it grew!  And I never would have known if we hadn't picked a difficult path so full of obstacles and tough decisions to where I had to love enough to make a safe decision for both of us and fully rely/trust/believe my horse could carry me through!

Where am I going with this?  Well I could go on and on with this experience of what God was teaching me, but I'll just pull out a few things.
        1. Who/What am I fully relying on in life?  A survey said that 80% of Americans say they are Christians and believe in God, but only 7% to 8% say that they fully rely on God.  Ouch.  This is convicting for me.  How numb we can get!  It's so easy to say yes, I believe in Jesus...but do you really?  Do you really rely on Him for everything?  In everything?
        2.  Am I following the wide and easy path that the rest of the world follows or am I following the narrow, sometimes more difficult path that God wants me to follow?  Matthew 7:13-14 states that "You can enter God's Kingdom ONLY through the narrow gate.  The highway to hell is broad, and its gate is wide for the many who chose that way.  But the gateway to life is very narrow and the road is difficult, and only a few find it."

"Only a few find it"---you know only a few of us found that trail.  Sure it was no easy path.  Downright obnoxious at times....but what joy was found on that path!  An experience that allowed me to get a closer relationship with my horse.  God gives us these ups and downs in life to see how much we really do rely on Him!  Yes.  Sometimes we fail....we don't think God can help us in a certain situation so we do what we think is best.  Arg!  How does that work for you?  I usually find myself in a nasty temper or loads of pounding stress and a hurting heart when I try doing things on my own.  I miss the point that God is trying to teach me! I miss the opportunity of having a closer relationship with God.  Don't let the downs and twists of life get to you---God just wants to develop a closer relationship with you and that is a beautiful sight and a joyous feeling well worth the struggles!!!

      3.  Keep Going!  I know you have difficulties.  Everyone does.  But keep pressing on in your love and reliance on Jesus because then you will be able to say, "I was one of the few who found it!" Praise God for the difficult road because it will deepen your relationship as He helps you through it! You are never alone when you have Jesus in your heart and that is one of my goals this year is to fully rely on Jesus.  Difficult?  YES!  But Romans 10:21 is a comforting verse to me:  All day long God has held out his hands to a disobedient and obstinate people (God's totally describing me!)....wow! He invites Me (You) in with open arms!!!  I just want to jump into them and not let go!

Encourage each other!  I know I can always use encouragement!  I'd love to hear what God has been doing in your lives as well!  I love you all and hope to see you all soon in Heaven!  Happy 2015! Hallelujah!!!  We're all a year closer to eternity!!!

He leads me by still waters....He restores my soul.....Even though I walk through a dark valley I will fear no evil because you, Jesus, are with me.  Your goodness and love will be with me for the rest of my days and you will let me dwell in your house forever and ever.

So Far Away!

Words.  That's how we describe things, but I'm finding words hard today.  It's like I'm living in another world and I'm shouting but no one is listening.  So I write....to myself, unless dear reader, you are entertained....Maybe we overuse words-maybe we just don't know their true meanings?

Love...a 4 letter word that is so misinterpreted it shouldn't even exist.  I'm just beginning to partially understand the word...and its not associated with what I planned.  Love is associated with happiness AND hurt.  It is selfless.  It is REAL!  I wish I could be more specific for you, but I can't. At 24, I've had enough experience to tell you that Love is the hardest thing you can ever accomplish in your entire life because it is the basis to every other detail in your future.  Whether you choose to love or not in certain situations--it not only affects you it affect others.

I'm actually very sick of this world and I don't want to be here anymore.  Its not that I don't enjoy things in this world-it's just I know what awaits! I can't wait to be in Jesus' arms in Heaven where I truly am loved.  I just want to be there right now!  It's nice to have glimpses of Heaven now and then on earth...God gave me that privilege recently.....Some of you know that I have family in Japan and getting to see them is a huge treat, but what amazes me is how close we are to each other even though we live worlds apart and aren't able to see each other very often.  Focusing on this love thing this year has put my mind in a "love perspective" mode.  Sometimes I don't want to love, sometimes I don't get a thing out of it, but I do it anyway--kinda a forced love and what is cool is God blesses me for that attempt and pretty soon I'm not forcing it!  It's there!  I have an insurmountable love for my family and extended family!  It's really real!  And every time I get together with my cousins and family--I feel like this is what LOVE really is like!  This is what Heaven must be like!  Love just pours out in my family and I think I can honestly say I have some of the best hugging cousins in the world! ;)  I think because of ya'll..I'm becoming a hugger too!  :) It so hurts to have to say good-bye to them and I know in Heaven I will never have too say good-bye again!  I am so blessed to have a loving family and am thankful that God has taught me so much about love this year.  I wasn't always like this, but love should never be hidden or thrown away!  Maybe this is why God gave us a heart--to store love in so we can stay close to each other even when miles and miles of distance exists between us.  I LOVE YOU FAMILY!!!  All of you are so amazing and I'm so glad you are in my life!  Guess I'm dedicating this post to Rachel and Hannah Klaus since they were able to come to America this year and it was so good having them here!  My heart is happy and I know one day I'll be able to see them forever!!!