I rode Kitty yesterday with my sister and her horse Colty. It was warm but very windy as it was blowing in cccold air. My horse decided to be really energetic (did not want to walk and if she walked she also wanted to spook which led to more prancing and not walking). Many times horses react to a change in the weather and today Kitty was letting me know she had been cooped up too long and not given enough exercise even though it had only been 2 days! Not only was the wind blowing hard at my coat, but it must have blown my horses brain away! I decided to trot her up and down the road back and forth since Colty wasn't about to do an endurance ride the whole time! This seemed to help and although she was spooky the whole ride she settled in and became a mostly good horse again.
Missy had the grumpy grulla routine going on and MUCH energy to release as well. I worked her in the round pen all the while she was rearing, leaping in the air, bucking, kicking (sometimes in my direction...not good at all), and continuously at a slow run which is impressive for the small space! Generally, I get it...my horses need to get some horse time and run and buck and get "the edge" off as we, equestrians call it!
I thought I had spent enough time with Missy that she could be good and listen now in order to try more liberty training, but her mind was just not focused. Instead she was ...running over me and doing her best to not focus on me...in fact she was looking away from me and turning her backside to me (a big sign of disrespect). I kept at it though and had her doing some things ok and other things she just wasn't there! It was like her mind had totally blown away like the wind!!! I was frustrated and so my training technique became more stubborn, as did my horse. I was thinking to myself....Missy this should be easy for you...why can't you get this? Why can't you do this basic thing right like you usually do? What's wrong with my horses today?
I'd have to give credit to God for help in training my 2 horses and especially me because I was getting impatient, but He reminded me of this: Sometimes, I think that about my children too. They get so caught up in how their day is going or how they feel, they forget who they really are and all of the training I have taught them! But just like your horses, I know that all my children have bad days....and this doesn't make me love them any less!
I've often wondered and questioned God about being bad. I'm bad many times and no matter how hard I try, I still have a Bad me! I've thought...What if God comes back on a Bad Day for me? What if I'm just like my horses and ignore the things He has taught me and disrespect Him? What if I'm not focused on Him that day? What if on that day, I act like I'm not a child of God?
Would God still take me to Heaven with Him? Or would He give me what I deserve....a good whipping?....not claim me as one of His? Forsake me because I had a bad day?
I think this is a question we ask in many different ways. God, how much do you love me?
Then God let me in on something that sounds too good to be true. He claimed me. God doesn't want to sneak up on His children and point out all their flaws and erase their names from the Lambs Book of Life. Instead He told me He is patient and kind and that I needed to apply the same method to my horse. I needed to be patient with her. Just because she was having a bad, not-focused-on-her-trainer day, just meant I needed to be even more patient and loving to her. I backed up my training to kindergarten steps which seemed silly with the caliber I'm use to with her, but God told me too so I did. Taking the time for one small step closer to being focused on the trainer helped Missy progress and the safer and more focused she became....not to her potential but it did slowly return her focus. That's exactly what God has to do with us at times. I'm so glad He doesn't get as frustrated as I do! Instead He provides even more patience, love and gentleness to draw back His Bad children.
I love my horses even on their worst days and even when they hurt me. My horses would never purposely try to hurt me, they genuinely love me and this is the lesson God wanted me to learn that He loves me in the same way. He loves me on my Bad days and He loves me on my Good days. He wants you to know that He has enough love for you to get you through those bad days! He knows we don't purposely try to hurt Him, ignore Him and disrespect Him....He knows we face many trials of all sizes and shapes...He knows we can't always be good. And if you are wondering what if God comes on one of my bad days will He forsake me or claim me as His....? I'm proud to say I most certainly claim and love my horses! I'm proud to own and train both of them! And that is how God responds to us even on our bad days! Thank you, Thank you God for loving me and claiming me as your own even on my bad days!
It's not about having more good days than bad, it's all about letting God live in your heart everyday.
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