College wonders!

Sometimes, I really wonder what I got out of college!  But I did enjoy this creative writing class!  Our teacher asked us to pick someone famous to eat lunch with and write about what happened at our fake lunch.  Usually, the students picked really, I mean REALLY gross, inappropriate things to read and write about....I felt very different.....however, out of my group, they all voted it as the best and let me read it to the rest of the class!  That was the ONLY time mine got picked, but seriously silly, clean humor is just not in anymore! How sad!

Sandy Fritzenmeier

Creative Writing 113

Invite a guest to lunch/Steal-a-Face

Lunch with Dick Van Dyke

        After winning the grand prize offered by a pancake mix company, I found myself on the verge of being able to sit down and eat lunch with a real live comedian!  The comedian was none other than Dick Van Dyke.  I was to wait for him at his studio named Harhar in Hollywood.  As I walked into his studio, I noticed the beautiful May flowers lining his brick sidewalk.  I found my way to the dining room where I met Mr. Van Dyke, although he insisted on being called Dick.  “You know, as in Moby Dick without the Moby!” he cracked up laughing.  “I’ve got a whale of a name don’t you think, Miss!”  His bright brown eyes seemed to sparkle every time he smiled.  “So, what brings you to Harhar Studio besides the shoes on your feet?” he said playfully.  I showed him my winning ticket and he assured me, with one of the most serious facial expressions I have ever seen, that I was the luckiest college student in the world.  He escorted me to the table on which I immediately fell due to his pulling out the chair from under me.  “Something wrong, old sport?” as he started turning purple from holding back his laughter.  I blushed with embarrassment as I said, “No, Dick, guess I’ll never be a stand up comedian if I can’t even sit down!”  I received an unexpected blow as he slapped me on the back and giggled his way to his chair all the while exclaiming that I was a good old sport.  We began with dessert first because Dick claimed that it was the most important part of the meal.  As I began to eat my brownie and ice cream, I noticed how Mr. Van Dyke was dressed.  He had on blue jeans with an unmatched top that was decorated with a clip-on tie, and when I glanced under the table I noticed Winnie-the-Pooh and Piglet Too flip flops.   Dick seemed to crack endless jokes as I ate my lunch, once I almost choked from laughing so hard at one of his jokes.  He asked me if I wanted to listen to any music while we finished up lunch and I replied, “Sure that would be nice!”  He scrambled through some music albums and began to play the soundtrack from “Mary Poppins,” a show in which, he sang.  “I really dig the singer in this song!” he matter-of-factly stated.  I gave him a sarcastic grin and said, “Yes, he’s not that bad!”  After all the songs in which he had sung had finished, he invited me into his mini living room where he decided we would watch the Dick Van Dyke show.  He leaped onto the couch and jumped back up with a startled look.  “Why, I forgot the popcorn!” he said, slapping his hand on the couch in disgust.  “We can’t watch one of my movies without popcorn!”   He asked me how I liked my popcorn, but I only managed to get out “I like mine with”…. then he cut me off as though my mind was already made up, “Eh, everyone likes buttery popcorn!”  He sprinted to the other room, knocking over a stool of newspapers.  All I could hear was “Whoops! I’ll be back in a minute!” as papers went flying across the room.  I shook my head, smiled, and thought to myself, “So, this is what it is like to eat lunch with comedian Dick Van Dyke!”