"You're a God who has all things, and you still want me!"

The title is from a song, called "I need you to love me."  It can be hard to comprehend that a God who is powerful enough to make mountains, oceans, space, animals, tornadoes, towering trees, etc...could love me...us.

Deuteronomy 7:9 Know therefore that the LORD your God is God, the faithful God who keeps covenant and steadfast love with those who love him and keep his commandments, to a thousand generations.

After seeing all that He has created and coming to realize that you want to serve Him forever it makes you want to go above and beyond to make your Creator proud/glad He made you.  However, this is the hard part.  I am learning I don't have to do anything to make Him love me.  He loves everyone so much.  God just wants your heart.  Not your talents, money, fame, health, family, etc.  He gave you all that anyways...He just wants your heart.  Once you give Him your heart....He will treasure it always and promises to take us to Heaven to live with Him...again not by our good deeds, but because of His steadfast (unending, never empty, always full) love.

Romans 5:8 God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

It feels as though I'm caught in a heavy downpour of rain as my body struggles with health issues again.  I find myself asking God for an umbrella.   If I could just get out of this downpour for awhile and get a chance to dry!  If I could just get out of the pelting rain!  If you'd shelter me more, I could serve you better.  But those are my thoughts.  

As I picture myself drenched in the middle of no where (not even a tree to stand under), I find myself panicking that I'll be stuck here forever and I'll never do anything of worth again!  As my tears mix with the rain,  I imagine God looking down on me with love and saying something like this.  "Sandy, I know you're really wet, but you know that I am in charge of this rain and I won't let you drown! I've got your heart!  You ask me for an umbrella....I AM YOUR UMBRELLA!!  I need you to go through this rain because there are those going through rain without their Umbrella.  You'll always have an Umbrella.

....I forget that my umbrella is God.....in the pounding rain, things get so hard to see and I forget that I have a shelter forever in Heaven....but right now it's raining.  

So God please abide with me while it rains, never leave me, don't let me drown, don't ever let me go! 

God, Thanks for your promises and steadfast love. 

The Problem with Church

It may not surprise you to hear that anxiety and depression is the most popular illness in America.  Christianity is the largest religion in America.  Though I'm not sure how the world defines Christian these days, God still defines it by a close relationship with us.  No amount of religion and regulations can get you to Heaven....only the belief that God sent His son, Jesus, to die for us and all our sins.  What's God want? You're heart.  I try to give Him many things as a means of thanks or maybe to help ease my conscience, or even to say look what I did now I can feel better about myself!  But as a song I listened to stated....We were never capable of saving ourselves, so why do we think we can now?

Do you get to that point?  I'm a Christian!  I shouldn't be dealing with depression....self-centeredness.....anger......lust......jealousy......fear.......worthlessness.....envy.......(add your own list).

The biggest problem I see with churches is this:  No one is comfortable with the whole body of Christ.  Sure, you as a finger can get along with the other fingers, but boy watch out for the leg and foot and...steer clear of the head!

It's just this human process we go through....We pick out people who meet our standards and push out the ones who don't.  It's like we've set up classes and standards within our churches!

Thank goodness, God does not have a set of "must have" standards for us sinners!!  That's what you and I are..... sinners.  Saved sinners if we believe in God, but we still sin.  Sometimes we think we know God's standards....but it comes down to our hearts, not our deeds. (Phew!)

God designed the church for a purpose....a beautiful purpose that is being overtaken by our crafty adversary (satan<--he's not worthy of a capital letter).  He wants churches to be smaller.  He wants you to feel alone and a misfit.  He wants church to become entertaining so you can forget the need of a perfect lamb Jesus, slaughtered for you and me out of love!

Church was designed to bring believers together.  No not for lunch.  Not for a talented speaker. Not for the band or choir.  Not for checking in on everyone's career's and talking about the weather, etc (though I don't have a problem with that..)...but for hearing God's word and then doing something about it with the other believers helping us out with this too!  I wonder what it would be like to go to a church and tell everyone to sit in a circle and say what they're struggling with or at least write it down on a piece of paper.  If you had truthful answers, we'd probably have similar struggles.  That's why God designed the church.  He knows we need each other to encourage, love and pray for each other.  But how can we do this if we're not ok with the body?

Church should be the greatest place on earth and the most visited......but it's not.    Instead we crowd bars, stadiums, restaurants, entertainment, doctors offices, etc. because we want a cure, a stress relief, and attention.  Maybe we've just given up on church and do our own church or maybe we don't go at all.

If there's one thing we all desire it's to be loved and that is something our churches can't provide unless our bodies are fully functioning.  It starts with us.  We are the body of Christ. Want churches to grow?  Extend your love.  Not just to the ones like you.  You could also pray that God leads you to people who need love and encouragement and when you need some don't be afraid to ask for prayer.  It's why God designed the church.

One more thought for you, Sandy.  (Yes these blogs are for me especially)  Just because a Christian struggles with depression, anger, self-worth, pride, strength, fear, lust, envy, etc doesn't mean they are no longer a Christian. Nor does it mean that God does not love them anymore.  It's all about their heart.  It's about seeing how much God still loves them and how He won't let them go.  It's about reaching for God's hand in the dark and knowing He'll grab yours....even when you can't feel it.