It may not surprise you to hear that anxiety and depression is the most popular illness in America. Christianity is the largest religion in America. Though I'm not sure how the world defines Christian these days, God still defines it by a close relationship with us. No amount of religion and regulations can get you to Heaven....only the belief that God sent His son, Jesus, to die for us and all our sins. What's God want? You're heart. I try to give Him many things as a means of thanks or maybe to help ease my conscience, or even to say look what I did now I can feel better about myself! But as a song I listened to stated....We were never capable of saving ourselves, so why do we think we can now?
Do you get to that point? I'm a Christian! I shouldn't be dealing with depression....self-centeredness.....anger......lust......jealousy......fear.......worthlessness.....envy.......(add your own list).
The biggest problem I see with churches is this: No one is comfortable with the whole body of Christ. Sure, you as a finger can get along with the other fingers, but boy watch out for the leg and foot and...steer clear of the head!
It's just this human process we go through....We pick out people who meet our standards and push out the ones who don't. It's like we've set up classes and standards within our churches!
Thank goodness, God does not have a set of "must have" standards for us sinners!! That's what you and I are..... sinners. Saved sinners if we believe in God, but we still sin. Sometimes we think we know God's standards....but it comes down to our hearts, not our deeds. (Phew!)
God designed the church for a purpose....a beautiful purpose that is being overtaken by our crafty adversary (satan<--he's not worthy of a capital letter). He wants churches to be smaller. He wants you to feel alone and a misfit. He wants church to become entertaining so you can forget the need of a perfect lamb Jesus, slaughtered for you and me out of love!
Church was designed to bring believers together. No not for lunch. Not for a talented speaker. Not for the band or choir. Not for checking in on everyone's career's and talking about the weather, etc (though I don't have a problem with that..)...but for hearing God's word and then doing something about it with the other believers helping us out with this too! I wonder what it would be like to go to a church and tell everyone to sit in a circle and say what they're struggling with or at least write it down on a piece of paper. If you had truthful answers, we'd probably have similar struggles. That's why God designed the church. He knows we need each other to encourage, love and pray for each other. But how can we do this if we're not ok with the body?
Church should be the greatest place on earth and the most visited......but it's not. Instead we crowd bars, stadiums, restaurants, entertainment, doctors offices, etc. because we want a cure, a stress relief, and attention. Maybe we've just given up on church and do our own church or maybe we don't go at all.
If there's one thing we all desire it's to be loved and that is something our churches can't provide unless our bodies are fully functioning. It starts with us. We are the body of Christ. Want churches to grow? Extend your love. Not just to the ones like you. You could also pray that God leads you to people who need love and encouragement and when you need some don't be afraid to ask for prayer. It's why God designed the church.
One more thought for you, Sandy. (Yes these blogs are for me especially) Just because a Christian struggles with depression, anger, self-worth, pride, strength, fear, lust, envy, etc doesn't mean they are no longer a Christian. Nor does it mean that God does not love them anymore. It's all about their heart. It's about seeing how much God still loves them and how He won't let them go. It's about reaching for God's hand in the dark and knowing He'll grab yours....even when you can't feel it.
Friday, July 7, 2017
Sunday, May 21, 2017
Is Love Really That Important?
What do you do with a world full of hurt, hate, and hardness? How does God view us? How can He even love us? Our human minds are not equipped for the answer, "God loves you." Right. I don't believe that. Wait...what do I have to do? What's the catch? I'm not good enough to love.....I've made too many mistakes......I've got nothing to offer.....maybe you don't even care....
We often think of love as something we show only to those who are nice to us...or who deserve to be loved....those who haven't hurt us...those who did something for us. ...but is that really knowing how to love? Why do we need to know how to love?
Consider this: God knew that this world is full of hurt, hate, and hardness, but He still sent His son, Jesus, to die for us (all our sins) anyway. That's something we (I) have a hard time grasping at times. Are you sure that blood is powerful enough to cleanse my sins forever?!! I keep sinning....do you have enough to last?!!! Yes. That blood is powerful but even more powerful is God's LOVE. He chose to love me. He chose to love you. (before we were even born, He wanted to save us) Not because you and I deserved it....He knows you and I are worth it. He desires to spend forever with us! He has enough love and more to last for you and I our entire lives.
You're worth something.
Knowing this can be life-changing...feeling God's love can be overwhelmingly wonderful. I'm the type that needs to feel God's love (I'm weak in that way) but I assure you God answers our desperate needs and cries anyways.
It's hard to be in the world and have the world not rub off on you. God knows this. That's why He wants you to come to Him so He can rub Himself off on you. Bring the pain, the hate, the hurts and the hardness and surrender them to God. This could be an everyday occurrence if you're like me. Maybe this is a good thing though that will keep us running to God.
I have a Ken Davis dvd called Super Sheep. Great message! Get it! Jesus says (John 16:33) you will have trouble and tribulations. I appreciated how Ken pointed out that this is Jesus talking (so pay attention) it's not you may have.... you might.... it's You Will Have Trouble! Then Jesus says so be at peace be happy because He has overcome the world. Don't let the troubles win....If you're with Jesus they won't win over you....You belong to the One who has overcome this troubled world.
I get so pumped sometimes to know that Jesus loves me I completely and totally go "Crazy Christian!" I see a room full of people (this normally scares me I'm a total introvert) and happen to have this sudden rush of love to hug each and everyone of them in the room and tell them Jesus loves me and you!!! YAY!
I can also go "Numb Christian" and forget how much God does loves me and not show any love to the people standing in the room and go completely opposite of the "Crazy Christian."
I think we're afraid to be Crazy Christians at times because we're unsure of how people will take our love...(I can just see all the reactions of faces if I hugged every person in a room...haha! But wouldn't God do that!)....will they take it the right way? Will they be afraid? Is it a stupid idea? What will they think or say? They'll think I'm crazy!! Does it really matter? Do I really have to show them love? Some one else would do better.... So we talk ourselves out of a love act....
It comes down to a few questions for me: Do I really love God enough to do what He wants me to do? I believe the biggest thing that God wants every Christian to do is...LOVE. Love God. Love Everyone else (not just the nice people) Families are separating. Depression is skyrocketing. Many are leaving churches. People are broken and hurt. Hate, hurt and hardness are rampant. I don't need to tell you this but....There's a lack of love.
The other question I ask myself is do I really want to get into this love stuff? It's tough. I don't know how to love sometimes....I don't feel like loving some days.....I let my own hurts and struggles and me stuff get in the way...I'm selfish...I'm really no different than any other person except I've got Jesus. Jesus saw me broken and He came to me despite my shame and brokenness...so I'll quote some song writer...."If you really want to love someone, search their soul for where it's broken, find the cracks and pour your heart in if you want to love someone..." At least that is what God is doing for me....searching me for where I'm broken and filling in my cracks with His love. He does this everyday.
It is hard. It's a fight. God loves me even when I am unlovable....I need to love others even if they are unlovable....I can't do this alone...it's God helping us do this....Yes...when you love, your risks of being hurt go up....wish I could say you won't be hurt.... You know what else goes up if you let God use you? Your love capacity.
I don't want you to think I understand this powerful love of God....I'm still fighting His love for me at times but I know God can use the broken to heal the broken so I must type....I must love....and I must keep running to God for help, love and comfort because this world is so full of trouble.
We often think of love as something we show only to those who are nice to us...or who deserve to be loved....those who haven't hurt us...those who did something for us. ...but is that really knowing how to love? Why do we need to know how to love?
Consider this: God knew that this world is full of hurt, hate, and hardness, but He still sent His son, Jesus, to die for us (all our sins) anyway. That's something we (I) have a hard time grasping at times. Are you sure that blood is powerful enough to cleanse my sins forever?!! I keep sinning....do you have enough to last?!!! Yes. That blood is powerful but even more powerful is God's LOVE. He chose to love me. He chose to love you. (before we were even born, He wanted to save us) Not because you and I deserved it....He knows you and I are worth it. He desires to spend forever with us! He has enough love and more to last for you and I our entire lives.
You're worth something.
Knowing this can be life-changing...feeling God's love can be overwhelmingly wonderful. I'm the type that needs to feel God's love (I'm weak in that way) but I assure you God answers our desperate needs and cries anyways.
It's hard to be in the world and have the world not rub off on you. God knows this. That's why He wants you to come to Him so He can rub Himself off on you. Bring the pain, the hate, the hurts and the hardness and surrender them to God. This could be an everyday occurrence if you're like me. Maybe this is a good thing though that will keep us running to God.
I have a Ken Davis dvd called Super Sheep. Great message! Get it! Jesus says (John 16:33) you will have trouble and tribulations. I appreciated how Ken pointed out that this is Jesus talking (so pay attention) it's not you may have.... you might.... it's You Will Have Trouble! Then Jesus says so be at peace be happy because He has overcome the world. Don't let the troubles win....If you're with Jesus they won't win over you....You belong to the One who has overcome this troubled world.
I get so pumped sometimes to know that Jesus loves me I completely and totally go "Crazy Christian!" I see a room full of people (this normally scares me I'm a total introvert) and happen to have this sudden rush of love to hug each and everyone of them in the room and tell them Jesus loves me and you!!! YAY!
I can also go "Numb Christian" and forget how much God does loves me and not show any love to the people standing in the room and go completely opposite of the "Crazy Christian."
I think we're afraid to be Crazy Christians at times because we're unsure of how people will take our love...(I can just see all the reactions of faces if I hugged every person in a room...haha! But wouldn't God do that!)....will they take it the right way? Will they be afraid? Is it a stupid idea? What will they think or say? They'll think I'm crazy!! Does it really matter? Do I really have to show them love? Some one else would do better.... So we talk ourselves out of a love act....
It comes down to a few questions for me: Do I really love God enough to do what He wants me to do? I believe the biggest thing that God wants every Christian to do is...LOVE. Love God. Love Everyone else (not just the nice people) Families are separating. Depression is skyrocketing. Many are leaving churches. People are broken and hurt. Hate, hurt and hardness are rampant. I don't need to tell you this but....There's a lack of love.
The other question I ask myself is do I really want to get into this love stuff? It's tough. I don't know how to love sometimes....I don't feel like loving some days.....I let my own hurts and struggles and me stuff get in the way...I'm selfish...I'm really no different than any other person except I've got Jesus. Jesus saw me broken and He came to me despite my shame and brokenness...so I'll quote some song writer...."If you really want to love someone, search their soul for where it's broken, find the cracks and pour your heart in if you want to love someone..." At least that is what God is doing for me....searching me for where I'm broken and filling in my cracks with His love. He does this everyday.
It is hard. It's a fight. God loves me even when I am unlovable....I need to love others even if they are unlovable....I can't do this alone...it's God helping us do this....Yes...when you love, your risks of being hurt go up....wish I could say you won't be hurt.... You know what else goes up if you let God use you? Your love capacity.
I don't want you to think I understand this powerful love of God....I'm still fighting His love for me at times but I know God can use the broken to heal the broken so I must type....I must love....and I must keep running to God for help, love and comfort because this world is so full of trouble.
Tuesday, April 11, 2017
Stop and Cuddle with God
My horse, Kitty, is very good at teaching me many things. She's started this odd sorta behavior at feeding time at night. During night feedings we give our horses oats with supplements if needed. Now Kitty turns her nose up at everything new so she gets no supplements right now. When I did give her supplements she would chase every one of our other horses away to see if their oats were normal and not supplemented..it was a hard battle....I've stopped giving her supplements for over a year now since it was so hard to get them down and she didn't seem to need them nor did I have time to stand guard over her every night to make sure she ate them and the other horses weren't being chased away from their oats! I had gotten use to being able to leave her and not worry that she wouldn't eat hers or theirs.
Recently, she's developed a new habit. She doesn't want to eat her oats unless I stand with her. If I don't stop and cuddle with her and spend the time with her she chases the other horses or eats their oats when hers are perfectly normal! Now this takes an extra 10 to 15 minutes of standing in the cold, wind, mud, dark, etc. and my life is busy enough I'd rather be spending that time doing the other necessary farm chores in order to get in the house sooner....
I thought, This is silly, horse! I'm rushed for time and you are acting like I don't spend enough time with you! I'm flattered but isn't the nightly hug and kiss good enough?
Then God reminded me that sometimes I think that I'm spending enough time with Him with just a quick prayer and maybe a short verse to get me through the day. When what I really need is to Stop and cuddle with Him, spend some quiet solo time with Him even when my list of things to do is longer than my time or even if I don't want to take the time and do it because my life is too crazy, etc! Because like Kitty, God wants to spend that time with me so much and He will do anything for that time with me!
Sometimes God just wants to hold us. At a certain point, He doesn't always want to answer your questions or discipline us.....He just wants to be with us!! To hold us in His loving arms to say nothing but over flood us with His powerful LOVE! But how can He possibly do this when we are running here and there, worried with this or that, depressed or stressed and not stopping to pause for a 10 to 15 minute cuddle time with God. If a little horse likes to be cuddled and loved on, God must ADORE AND CRAVE CUDDLE TIME WITH US HIS MOST TREASURED CREATION!!! How do I know we are his most treasured? Because He died on the cross for us...ALL of us!!!! Why? Because He wants us to live with Him forever! Draw me to you, God, so I can be cuddled because when I know I'm loved by you, my heart is bursting with joy and happiness!
Tuesday, February 28, 2017
Saturday, February 25, 2017
Learning to trust God with everything....
Does life have you stuck? Decisions cramming your mind? You have no clue what you need to be doing? More questions than answers?
Ok, let's see if I can get through this post without falling asleep....I have Rhuematoid Arthritis. It is an auto-immune disease that attacks your whole body. It's like your body is at constant war with itself. There is no cure. And yes fatigue and arthritis are just a few of the symptoms. I've heard it expressed this way: You wake up tired, you fight to stay awake in the afternoons and you can't sleep at night because you're in pain. Very accurate if your meds aren't working and you are having a flare up of symptoms.
I'm rather blessed as this draws me to God for strength. But some days I just don't know what to say to God.
Getting into my upper 20s and having trouble controlling the symptoms can make one think: What am I going to do when I can't work anymore? If I'm this bad now....what will it be like when I'm older? Will I have a place to live? with my horses? I don't want to be a burden to anyone......I need to invest in my future right now! Should I move to a better climate? Should I be doing something more for you God, while I still can? TEll ME! WHAT DO I DO?
There are 3 things that one must have in order to beat this disease. 1. God. I don't know how He does it or why He does it when I've often yelled at Him...but He does! He provides strength to get through each day even on the days where you can hardly convince yourself to get out of bed let alone get dressed due to pain/stiffness.
2. A support system. My family deserves blue ribbons for dealing with me. At times, I just get so tried of being TIRED and fighting every day that I say hurtful things to them when I know that they are just trying to help. I'm sorry family and I'm super thankful for each of you! My extended family included!
3, A sense of humor. A good sense of humor is a must when you fight any disease. For ex. I'll have days where my hand just won't work...."Hey could someone give me a hand over here!" (That's a lame joke, but you get the idea!)
You have days where you feel guilty. Guilty because you know of others who have it far worse than you do and you almost feel blessed to be able to do the things you can do.
Then you'll have days where you feel worthless and wonder how many things you could do if you didn't have this disease.
Then you wonder sometimes..What's the point? What's the point of life? To live a comfortable life being a responsible adult, paying your bills on time, working a steady job, investing in your future, doing things that are profitable for all when the time allows you, going to church steady and being active with that, supporting your family, get a proper education, go on vacations, raise a family, etc? That doesn't seem quite it to me...
I've been wrapped up with many of those things right now. I've even questioned God. What's it even mean to be a Christian? Should I move? Where? Better climate for RA? Cheaper land for horses? Should I stay? I've got a great job (and I love being around my family), but reality tells me I won't be able to do it forever. I'd love to invest in land, but land prices around here are outrageously expensive so expensive that I've looked into other states prices....I can't stand living in the city and I'll need a place for my horses.....the list goes on and on.
Being a responsible adult is no fun most of the time. Trusting God with your life and plans is really really tough. I like having a plan. I like having a backup plan....even a backup's backup plan if necessary.
Some days I laugh at myself. Why invest in me when this earth is not my home?!! Why am I so bothered with my future plans? Why am I being such a human? God's got this. He's got a plan! Why can't I trust Him?
I've gone to the Bible for "my future plans" and it's kinda confusing. "If you don't work, you won't eat." (2 Thess. 3:10) But then Jesus says, 'Don't worry about your life' (Matt.6:25) Proverbs 6:6-8 tells us to plan ahead (like the ant) and Proverbs 27:23 tells us to pay attention to our "flocks and herds" which were investments of the people back then. In contrast James 4:13-15 says “Come now, you who say, ‘Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit’— yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, ‘If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.’
Maybe you're like me and need to invest into your eternity more.
Ok, let's see if I can get through this post without falling asleep....I have Rhuematoid Arthritis. It is an auto-immune disease that attacks your whole body. It's like your body is at constant war with itself. There is no cure. And yes fatigue and arthritis are just a few of the symptoms. I've heard it expressed this way: You wake up tired, you fight to stay awake in the afternoons and you can't sleep at night because you're in pain. Very accurate if your meds aren't working and you are having a flare up of symptoms.
I'm rather blessed as this draws me to God for strength. But some days I just don't know what to say to God.
Getting into my upper 20s and having trouble controlling the symptoms can make one think: What am I going to do when I can't work anymore? If I'm this bad now....what will it be like when I'm older? Will I have a place to live? with my horses? I don't want to be a burden to anyone......I need to invest in my future right now! Should I move to a better climate? Should I be doing something more for you God, while I still can? TEll ME! WHAT DO I DO?
There are 3 things that one must have in order to beat this disease. 1. God. I don't know how He does it or why He does it when I've often yelled at Him...but He does! He provides strength to get through each day even on the days where you can hardly convince yourself to get out of bed let alone get dressed due to pain/stiffness.
2. A support system. My family deserves blue ribbons for dealing with me. At times, I just get so tried of being TIRED and fighting every day that I say hurtful things to them when I know that they are just trying to help. I'm sorry family and I'm super thankful for each of you! My extended family included!
3, A sense of humor. A good sense of humor is a must when you fight any disease. For ex. I'll have days where my hand just won't work...."Hey could someone give me a hand over here!" (That's a lame joke, but you get the idea!)
You have days where you feel guilty. Guilty because you know of others who have it far worse than you do and you almost feel blessed to be able to do the things you can do.
Then you'll have days where you feel worthless and wonder how many things you could do if you didn't have this disease.
Then you wonder sometimes..What's the point? What's the point of life? To live a comfortable life being a responsible adult, paying your bills on time, working a steady job, investing in your future, doing things that are profitable for all when the time allows you, going to church steady and being active with that, supporting your family, get a proper education, go on vacations, raise a family, etc? That doesn't seem quite it to me...
I've been wrapped up with many of those things right now. I've even questioned God. What's it even mean to be a Christian? Should I move? Where? Better climate for RA? Cheaper land for horses? Should I stay? I've got a great job (and I love being around my family), but reality tells me I won't be able to do it forever. I'd love to invest in land, but land prices around here are outrageously expensive so expensive that I've looked into other states prices....I can't stand living in the city and I'll need a place for my horses.....the list goes on and on.
Being a responsible adult is no fun most of the time. Trusting God with your life and plans is really really tough. I like having a plan. I like having a backup plan....even a backup's backup plan if necessary.
Some days I laugh at myself. Why invest in me when this earth is not my home?!! Why am I so bothered with my future plans? Why am I being such a human? God's got this. He's got a plan! Why can't I trust Him?
I've gone to the Bible for "my future plans" and it's kinda confusing. "If you don't work, you won't eat." (2 Thess. 3:10) But then Jesus says, 'Don't worry about your life' (Matt.6:25) Proverbs 6:6-8 tells us to plan ahead (like the ant) and Proverbs 27:23 tells us to pay attention to our "flocks and herds" which were investments of the people back then. In contrast James 4:13-15 says “Come now, you who say, ‘Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit’— yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, ‘If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.’
I'm a mist.
So what should a Christian be doing here? I read an article and appreciated it's closing: "Invest your time and resources here on earth wisely. Invest into your eternity even more. Repent daily of sin. Pray daily to your Father. Sing praises daily to the Lord. Bring the gospel to the lost daily. Be a hearer of the Word and then do what it says! Pray for your family and friends! God loves you and desperately wants a life with you in heaven. If you have not accepted Christ as your Savior, do not delay! Your hour may be at hand today!"
The Bible states that we have to become like little children. Matt. 18:3 And said, Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven.
Children, for the most part, believe anything you tell them without any doubt. That's what I want. I want to be a child of God that believes in Him without any doubt. I have a long ways to go so I must throw away the "adultness!" Surrender the control you think you have, it's just an illusion! (heard that once in a sermon)
You can plan for your earthly future, but you first need to tell God of your plans. Trust Him with your earthly future and your Heavenly future will be secure. Remember you and I are just a mist that He created. A very loved and treasured mist, but a mist that will soon vanish.
Thursday, January 12, 2017
How do you spell HOPE?
How long wilt thou forget me, O LORD? for ever? how long wilt thou hide thy face from me? -Psalm 13:1
Like David, I question the Lord. I plead. I cry. I wait....but how long must I wait? I believe that is also another question David asks (Psalm 6:3). What is one to do while they await a painful wait?
2017 is started off with 2016 trials that still aren't over. I find myself taking another round of big drugs to ease my RA symptoms, and my horse is still no better. My horse has had this trouble for almost a year with the exception of 5 months. I had hope that God would fix her for Christmas....nothing. I had hope that He would fix her this week trying the same method that fixed her for 5 months before.....nothing. I can't keep spending money like this on both of us! I feel like David hard pressed on every side and wonder "Hey, did you forget me, God?"
At work they have 2 sick horses one is getting better and the other is still pretty sick. She came to me to just stand close (to be with someone who cared while she hurt). That is EXACTLY what Kitty does when she doesn't feel good. I gave her some hugs and attention. Suddenly I wondered how Kitty was doing....Then I got home and saw Kitty doing her uncomfortable head tossing again!
Like the horse at work I needed someone to care for me right then, but all I could do was cry out to God. Why? You are the only ONE who can heal my horse why aren't you doing that? Why don't you care? Why are you hiding from me? What am I suppose to be learning? Is this really in your plan of goodness towards me? Speak to me! Give me wisdom! Do Something!
I understand that I am helpless and hopeless without God. Some say that is why God gave us the Bible so we knew that others faced these struggles and questions and that God does indeed love us even if we are nothing and even if we question His ways and timing.
Though I'm deeply hurt and confused right now, I realize I must keep waiting because God's timing is CLEARLY NOT mine! Good things come to those who wait so they say....Isaiah 40:31..they that wait upon the Lord, shall renew their strength, etc.
What am I suppose to be doing in the meantime? What am I putting my hope into? Do I still have hope?
You can flat out begin to think is this why you created me to hide from me during my troubles? To always discipline me? To realize that I know that You, God, are the only one I can run to and yet I do not see you? Where else can I go? There is no where else. God you are it. You are my Hope. I have nothing else, but You. Come quickly to my aid. (Psalm 31:2)
God, like these horses, I'm coming to You for help, security, love, and wisdom. Let me feel your love and presence like the horses felt my love and presence today. I can only go on if you're with me.
How to spell HOPE
Holding onto God
Offer lots of love
Pray always
Eject all the lies
Like David, I question the Lord. I plead. I cry. I wait....but how long must I wait? I believe that is also another question David asks (Psalm 6:3). What is one to do while they await a painful wait?
2017 is started off with 2016 trials that still aren't over. I find myself taking another round of big drugs to ease my RA symptoms, and my horse is still no better. My horse has had this trouble for almost a year with the exception of 5 months. I had hope that God would fix her for Christmas....nothing. I had hope that He would fix her this week trying the same method that fixed her for 5 months before.....nothing. I can't keep spending money like this on both of us! I feel like David hard pressed on every side and wonder "Hey, did you forget me, God?"
At work they have 2 sick horses one is getting better and the other is still pretty sick. She came to me to just stand close (to be with someone who cared while she hurt). That is EXACTLY what Kitty does when she doesn't feel good. I gave her some hugs and attention. Suddenly I wondered how Kitty was doing....Then I got home and saw Kitty doing her uncomfortable head tossing again!
Like the horse at work I needed someone to care for me right then, but all I could do was cry out to God. Why? You are the only ONE who can heal my horse why aren't you doing that? Why don't you care? Why are you hiding from me? What am I suppose to be learning? Is this really in your plan of goodness towards me? Speak to me! Give me wisdom! Do Something!
I understand that I am helpless and hopeless without God. Some say that is why God gave us the Bible so we knew that others faced these struggles and questions and that God does indeed love us even if we are nothing and even if we question His ways and timing.
Though I'm deeply hurt and confused right now, I realize I must keep waiting because God's timing is CLEARLY NOT mine! Good things come to those who wait so they say....Isaiah 40:31..they that wait upon the Lord, shall renew their strength, etc.
What am I suppose to be doing in the meantime? What am I putting my hope into? Do I still have hope?
You can flat out begin to think is this why you created me to hide from me during my troubles? To always discipline me? To realize that I know that You, God, are the only one I can run to and yet I do not see you? Where else can I go? There is no where else. God you are it. You are my Hope. I have nothing else, but You. Come quickly to my aid. (Psalm 31:2)
God, like these horses, I'm coming to You for help, security, love, and wisdom. Let me feel your love and presence like the horses felt my love and presence today. I can only go on if you're with me.
How to spell HOPE
Holding onto God
Offer lots of love
Pray always
Eject all the lies
Saturday, December 17, 2016
Christmas Letter to JESUS
Dear Jesus,
I wonder if you get alot of letters from your children this time of year....I've actually felt a bit blue this Christmas, but I'm wondering if you do too? Boys and girls writing to Santa not knowing that you are the only one who can satisfy our deepest desires, Moms and Dads not reaching for the Bible to read about how you were sent and born for us, and others rushing around with a full list, but closed and empty hearts....Do you need someone to cheer you up this Christmas?
I wanted to write to you this letter and tell you Happy Birthday, Jesus! I'm confident you look great! ;) As they say, you are not bound by time in Heaven! ....Heaven is something I think about lots, Jesus. How's my mansion coming along? Does it have the horse barn connected to it yet? Actually, I don't need anything fancy as you know....I just want to know that you'll come get me when it's time because I still want that hug and to ride those heavenly horses.
Speaking about horses, Jesus, I've told and retold you about mine. She doesn't deserve to be in pain...if not for me, could you heal her for her? She's a good horse as you know, and not one to boast. She takes care of me and teaches me things that you need me to hear so could you do a little miracle? That's something on my Christmas list this year.
Thanks again for coming to this world and saving me and everyone else. I'll admit I'm probably more naughty than nice, but I'm forever thankful you saved my life. You always help me to do right even though it's quite hard at times to put up with me I'm sure!
You are my closest and dearest friend, Jesus. I love you so much! I thought it was so amazing and fun when you let me and my dear cousin go to South Dakota this year and ride my own horses (even Kitty was great) in your beautiful creation. I felt you so near, I did not want to leave. You did amazing things on this trip! You provided everything we needed with many helpful friends--why we even joined in on a birthday party! I'll never forget this trip we took with you, Jesus, and I hope you will allow even more trips this nice.
My stocking of blessings this year is full. I'm thankful for my family and friends and others who you have provided to help me this year...For my job, my health (even if its up and down), my truck. I may not have alot as some do.....but my biggest blessing is definitely YOU!
There's this little worthless tree this year full of problems and trials hanging on one side and the other. Filled clear full from top to bottom..sometimes I just don't know where to put or do with them all? Sometimes I think my little tree with fall. I try to clean it best I can, but seems like I just get sticky with sap or pricked by needles. It's surprising my tree still stands, but I think that's because I got the tree stand from you Jesus and it holds it tight! Thank you for that. Help me not to focus on my sad looking little tree, help me to look up to see that you are the star at the top of my tree. Shining there for me to see! I know my tree doesn't have many presents under it nor is it decorated in glorious ornaments....I'm glad/relieved that you still love and shine on this little tree.........because the little tree I'm describing is me.
In closing, take pity on the world this year. It's so hard to be down here. Add to my list courage and faith because that is something I'm lacking. Help me not to miss what you need done from me and forgive me when I fall flat on my face! I'm sorry to have an icy heart sometimes so thanks for fixing my icy heart and melting it so many times.
All my love to you I send, Jesus! Merry Christmas! Thanks for all you've done for me this year! Appreciate all your help! Never let me go!
Lots of Love,
Sandy
P.S. I'm sure I left out many things so we'll talk again real soon!!!!
I wonder if you get alot of letters from your children this time of year....I've actually felt a bit blue this Christmas, but I'm wondering if you do too? Boys and girls writing to Santa not knowing that you are the only one who can satisfy our deepest desires, Moms and Dads not reaching for the Bible to read about how you were sent and born for us, and others rushing around with a full list, but closed and empty hearts....Do you need someone to cheer you up this Christmas?
I wanted to write to you this letter and tell you Happy Birthday, Jesus! I'm confident you look great! ;) As they say, you are not bound by time in Heaven! ....Heaven is something I think about lots, Jesus. How's my mansion coming along? Does it have the horse barn connected to it yet? Actually, I don't need anything fancy as you know....I just want to know that you'll come get me when it's time because I still want that hug and to ride those heavenly horses.
Speaking about horses, Jesus, I've told and retold you about mine. She doesn't deserve to be in pain...if not for me, could you heal her for her? She's a good horse as you know, and not one to boast. She takes care of me and teaches me things that you need me to hear so could you do a little miracle? That's something on my Christmas list this year.
Thanks again for coming to this world and saving me and everyone else. I'll admit I'm probably more naughty than nice, but I'm forever thankful you saved my life. You always help me to do right even though it's quite hard at times to put up with me I'm sure!
You are my closest and dearest friend, Jesus. I love you so much! I thought it was so amazing and fun when you let me and my dear cousin go to South Dakota this year and ride my own horses (even Kitty was great) in your beautiful creation. I felt you so near, I did not want to leave. You did amazing things on this trip! You provided everything we needed with many helpful friends--why we even joined in on a birthday party! I'll never forget this trip we took with you, Jesus, and I hope you will allow even more trips this nice.
My stocking of blessings this year is full. I'm thankful for my family and friends and others who you have provided to help me this year...For my job, my health (even if its up and down), my truck. I may not have alot as some do.....but my biggest blessing is definitely YOU!
There's this little worthless tree this year full of problems and trials hanging on one side and the other. Filled clear full from top to bottom..sometimes I just don't know where to put or do with them all? Sometimes I think my little tree with fall. I try to clean it best I can, but seems like I just get sticky with sap or pricked by needles. It's surprising my tree still stands, but I think that's because I got the tree stand from you Jesus and it holds it tight! Thank you for that. Help me not to focus on my sad looking little tree, help me to look up to see that you are the star at the top of my tree. Shining there for me to see! I know my tree doesn't have many presents under it nor is it decorated in glorious ornaments....I'm glad/relieved that you still love and shine on this little tree.........because the little tree I'm describing is me.
In closing, take pity on the world this year. It's so hard to be down here. Add to my list courage and faith because that is something I'm lacking. Help me not to miss what you need done from me and forgive me when I fall flat on my face! I'm sorry to have an icy heart sometimes so thanks for fixing my icy heart and melting it so many times.
All my love to you I send, Jesus! Merry Christmas! Thanks for all you've done for me this year! Appreciate all your help! Never let me go!
Lots of Love,
Sandy
P.S. I'm sure I left out many things so we'll talk again real soon!!!!
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